Ever wished you were dead?

Aet290204

Aet290204

Well-known member
Because I wish I was.

Not a single day goes by without me thinking about it.

I hope some on here never experience the loneliness I have, and feel as worthless as I do on a daily basis. I’m nothing to anyone.

I hope i don’t wake up in the morning but I know I will.
 
I think many people have that thought, for many reasons. I don't know the full details of what you're struggling with, but I know you're got real battles with your mental health. Each day you wake up is a victory, even though some times it may seem more of a curse. You would be missed on here for certain, and we are only a group of blokes (mainly) on a message board. You're definitely not nothing!

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, keep taking them one at a time.
 
Even when i'm not feeling depressed I sometimes think it would be easier if I was dead. Maybe some of us are just wired that way?

Try living for yourself. Ive mentioned to you before but fitness routine and healthy eating is key for me. Happy to PM you my fitness routine and diet if you'd like. You don't have to go hard, just be consistent and give it yourself credit when you do something good for yourself. I don't have huge social circle, but I'm ok with that if I keep busy and active.

Hope you get better mate, stick in there.
 
I’ve slept on this.
This is my last contribution to this forum.
To anyone that helped with their comments over the years - thanks.
 
Life can be very cruel and often is very unfair, but things can and do change. The difficulty can be accepting both things when it seems almost intolerable.

Try if you possibly can, set yourself an achievable goal however small everyday so that you can work towards.

I have no idea of your circumstances but don’t just be looking for advice Aet on here are you getting support elsewhere?
 
Sounds like you are really alone?

You are not the only one. We are all alone but have relationships and support networks to obscure this fact, but we are all born alone, live alone in ourselves and die alone. We are filling ourselves up with stuff to avoid knowing this. My old man used to always say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This is the way it is with suffering.. it is always here for a reason. You can understand it, even embrace it, and endure it. You have to endure it. Even ending your life will not resolve it. When the thoughts get really dark and seem to overpower then just know that they will pass in the light of day, even to a small extent. If you can try not to attach yourself to the darkness then glimmers of light will get in. It's a hard journey but we are all doing it.

All you have to be is something to yourself. really this is all that matters. Don't measure your self worth by thinking about others. If you can be alone and find peace then really you have everything.
 
Aet290204 said:
I’ve slept on this.
This is my last contribution to this forum.
To anyone that helped with their comments over the years - thanks.
Click to expand...

I hope not, you make good contributions.

To answer your question in your opening post, no I haven't, but just means I am lucky.

Even your posts regarding the struggles you are going through and how you are feeling are worthy, as they are informative. They make me more understanding and appreciative of depression and hopefully I'll be of better help to someone I know personally who goes through it.
 
I was very very low, for about 9 months, I pretty much stopped my families life, i could not drive over bridges. A dreadful time. The hidden cover over my head most of the day. It was after a court case I was involved in with a pdofile.
Thankfully time was a healer for me, the evidence on occasions passes my mind, I still go into the odd 'why' phase.

People laugh at me for this , but my belief in a God helped.
 
Keep messaging AET because as dark and as lonely a place you find yourself in, you'll find somebody who has been or is maybe currently, in the same place. The biggest step forward when you're down there is actually reaching out and you keep doing that. It's a positive move, even if you can't see it for yourself just yet
 
If you read this Aet I hope that you get the support and help that you are looking for. There are many great people on this site that have tried to support you, however if you are wishing to deal with your feelings then another site for mental health may give you additional support. I am not saying dont post on here, as we are all Boro fans together.

To other posters who have not experienced depression themselves. Depression can come in many forms, with many triggers resulting in many ways that it affects people. I have had depression for over 20 years, often triggering from stress and anxiety. I deal with it internally, challenging my negative thoughts. I am open to many things that may make things better and can go years between episodes, however the last two years have been very difficult. Not all depressed people want to kill themselves, through suicide, however they may not care if they live or die.
I just wanted to say that the kind and positive thoughts that many posters have expressed over the years, have had a positive affect on my and I am sure others lifes. There may well be others who suffer in silence or even not be aware that they are suffering. So on behalf of everyone, thank you for all of the support, understanding and positivity that has been expressed to those of us who live with mental health problems.
 
aet - mailed me to tell everyone he is OK and he is very thankful to everyone for their kindness.
He is taking a break from posting for a little while - but just so you don't worry - he has been in touch.
I would say for any of those people that do communicate with him outside of the site please do send him a post - he is very lonely so am sure he would be grateful for the communication.
 
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