• Manages to get a brag of some sort into almost every exchange
• Only wants to talk about themself and their experiences 99% of the time and shows no interest whatsoever in you or yours
• Has had the last laugh/upper hand in almost every situation they've ever been in
• Whatever subject the conversation involves, they have a 'mate' or a family member who specialises in it
• Is happy trying to belittle others but god forbid anyone points out their shortcomings
• Is so blissfully lacking in self-awareness that when you're telling them anything about yourself, they immediately shut it down by reeling off their stories instead (see second point)
• Is lazy but thinks they graft harder than anyone else
• Sulks if they have to graft
• Wants to do anything but the job they're employed to do, even when it's clearly a priority
• Has four main topics of conversation - their new baby/their new car/their old jobs/their house
• Thinks their 'banter' is brilliant when it's actually pi$$-poor
What is it with these people? How do they not realise that they drain the life out of every situation instead of enhancing it like they think they're doing?