Dad Jokes - all welcome!

[Norman_Conquest]

I asked a French man if he was putting the footy on in the bar last night.

Only if you can name 3 Qatar players - George Harrison, Jimmy Hendrix and Eric Clapton.

 

[atomicloonybin aka ALB]

I’ve ordered some German food online.The sauerkraut has arrived, but the wurst is yet to come.

 

[atomicloonybin aka ALB]

My mate swallowed a load of Lego. The doctors say he’ll be fine, but he’s s***ing bricks.

 

[RedAsABeetroot]

 

[TeessideCleveland]

 

[t4tomo]

I went to a Zoo when I was on holiday. I went inside and the only animal in there was just this one dog. It was a Shitzu.

 

[wyliefan]

I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships - I took Gold,Silver & Bronze.

 

[Oooo]

Not saying that game was stolen from Egypt but it is now on display at museum in London.

 

[Middlesbrough123]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2074725289318400370

 

[Middlesbrough123]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2074735236143870058

 

[Middlesbrough123]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2074966545642463558

 

[TeessideCleveland]

 

[swordtrombonefish]

A blonde hears that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she leaves a DoorDash order for 25 gallons of milk.

When the DoorDash guy reads the order, he figures there must be a mistake; she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he calls up to clarify the order.

"I have your order for 25 gallons of milk," he says. "Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde says, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The DoorDash guy says, "Oh, okay. Do you want it pasteurized?"

And the blonde says "No, just up to my t*ts."

 

[Malaguena]

A blonde hears that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she leaves a DoorDash order for 25 gallons of milk.

When the DoorDash guy reads the order, he figures there must be a mistake; she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he calls up to clarify the order.

"I have your order for 25 gallons of milk," he says. "Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde says, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The DoorDash guy says, "Oh, okay. Do you want it pasteurized?"

And the blonde says "No, just up to my t*ts."

Benny Hill has been on the phone - he wants his joke from the 70s back

 

[Foggysfplandiet3]

Benny Hill has been on the phone - he wants his joke from the 70s back

Still as good as it was then. Ben was a genius.

 

[Middlesbrough123]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2075366937316483524