Dad Jokes - all welcome!
- Thread starter FatCat
- Start date
The_Unicorn
Well-known member
Don't know why you find that funny?
HarryVegas
Well-known member
I hope Elon Musk never gets into a scandal because ElonGate would be really drawn out.
Laughing
Well-known member
Not funny harry but very clever, did you come up with that yourself?
HarryVegas
Well-known member
Ha! No.
NorthumberlandBoro
Well-known member
They say that a joke from Harry is no laughing matter.
HarryVegas
Well-known member
Shocking
Lefty
Well-known member
It's a lot of doe.
SmallTown
Well-known member
This is my go to dad joke! I love it
Carlos Fandango
Well-known member
The godfather’s bookkeeper, cheated him out of $10,000,000. The bookeeper Guido was deaf and dumb and that is the reason he got the job, the godfather assumed he would hear nothing so he could never testify in court.
When the godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The godfather tells the lawyer “Ask him where the money is”
The lawyer using sign language asks Guido “Where’s the money”
Guido signs back “I don’t know what you are talking about”
The lawyer tells the godfather “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about”
The godfather pulls out a pistol and puts to Guido’s head and says “Ask him again where the money is or I will kill him”
The lawyer signs to Guido “He will kill you if you don’t tell him”
Guido trembles and signs “OK you win, the money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house”
The godfather asks the lawyer “What did he say”
The lawyer replied “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger”
When the godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The godfather tells the lawyer “Ask him where the money is”
The lawyer using sign language asks Guido “Where’s the money”
Guido signs back “I don’t know what you are talking about”
The lawyer tells the godfather “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about”
The godfather pulls out a pistol and puts to Guido’s head and says “Ask him again where the money is or I will kill him”
The lawyer signs to Guido “He will kill you if you don’t tell him”
Guido trembles and signs “OK you win, the money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house”
The godfather asks the lawyer “What did he say”
The lawyer replied “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger”
chocolate_sandwich
Active member
I was in the pub with the missus last night, and I said, "I love you". She said, "Is that you or the beer talking?" I replied, "It's me, talking to the beer".
Ingleby_Flash
Well-known member
A wife strips naked in front of her husband and says “when I did this 30 years ago what did you think”
He replies “I was thinking I wanted to suck your t¡ts dry and fook your brains out“
She asks “what are you thinking now”
”Looks like I did a good job”.
He replies “I was thinking I wanted to suck your t¡ts dry and fook your brains out“
She asks “what are you thinking now”
”Looks like I did a good job”.
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Carlos Fandango
Well-known member
I hope that's an ironing board and not a giant cockroach looking at me!
Lemmy_kilmister
Well-known member
I've been going out with this lass who's an optician but it's not working out. Every time I say I can't see her anymore she moves closer and says "is that better or worse?"
