A young lady, wearing only black gloves and socks, was stopped going into a nightclub by the doorman.
She was told it was a private fancy dress party that night.
She said she new and was in fancy dress.The doorman said you’re in fancy dress?
Yes she said. I’ve come as the 5 of spades!
Paddy and Mick were flying to Benidorm. The Captain comes on the tannoy. “This is the Captain speaking. We are experiencing problems with our outer starboard engine so have switched it off? There is no alarm, we have another three engines but it means we will be half an hour late into Alicante”. “Great”, says Paddy to Mick. A bit later the Captain comes on the tannoy again. “ Well, this is unusual, we are now experiencing problems with our outer port side engine and have switched that one off. As I mentioned before, we still have another two engines but, unfortunately, we will now be an hour late into Alicante”. “Jesus, did you hear that? Now an hour late. Terrible, terrible”. The Captain comes on again. “In all my years of flying I have never known this but the inner starboard engine has had to be switched off. We still have one engine but we will now be two hours late into Alicante”. Paddy turns to Mick “Bloody hell, this is ridiculous. If we lose any more engines we’ll be up here all day”.