Ever wished you were dead?

Yes Aet, frequently. It's f***ing hard work dealing with OCD, anxiety, depression and whatever else on a daily basis and 'living' often just feels so futile as I scrape through another day, knowing the next will only be more of the same. I'm strongly considering going down the psychedelics route at some point.

But please keep posting on here and don't give up the fight mate, there is always help at hand in some form 👍
We had a bit of a disagreement on here once Scubes and I hope that you've forgiven me for that now. I always appreciate your posts. It is really hard to deal with and I did the whole recreational chemicals thing when I was younger and it worked for a bit. I thought that E was the best thing in the world because it could make me manage to love myself and everyone else around me for a few hours and I took a lot of 'shrooms and LSD too but I'm way too old for that now. I stick to the booze and the cigs these days and I try to stay away from spirits. I can manage to convince myself that I don't really drink too much if I just stick to the wine and the beer and don't touch the whiskey because wine and beer aren't really booze. I know that's a load of bollox of course but if I tell myself that it isn't bollox enough times I start to believe it.
 
Whilst it might not be for everyone, taking Psylocibin in the form of magic mushrooms really has helped me shift the seemingly never ending dark clouds of depression. Its not a magic cure (wahey) but lots of studies are being made on it. I find it works anyway.
but be aware you can have a bad trip. Need to consumed in the right kind of environment.
 
aet - mailed me to tell everyone he is OK and he is very thankful to everyone for their kindness.
He is taking a break from posting for a little while - but just so you don't worry - he has been in touch.
I would say for any of those people that do communicate with him outside of the site please do send him a post - he is very lonely so am sure he would be grateful for the communication.
I came on with the purpose to ask if he was ok, so glad you’ve passed this on…

I can’t even think what to say that hasn’t been said but I know it matters not what we do say to someone suffering if they’re gripped by the darker moments…

I hope he continues to read the board though and feels he can chip in at any time… we’re all hoping he starts to see the better days ahead soon…
 
Yeah totally agree, but oddly it was a bad un that (heroic dose) that sorted me out. A seismic shift in that the black cloud dispersed and I've never felt the need for an heroic dose since.
 
but be aware you can have a bad trip. Need to consumed in the right kind of environment.
Never happened to me and you would think that it probably would have because of my fragile mental state. I took loads of drugs back then and had some pretty weird experiences on them but I never had a 'bad trip' or saw anyone else have one either. It was a bit scary when I saw that giant clown up a tree but that was probably just because I'd just read Stephen King's 'It'. And I thought that it was hilarious when I'd taken too many really trippy pills and turned around to see a witch sitting on top of my TV. She wasn't a really scary witch though. She looked like that witch out of 'Chorlton and the Wheelies'. This lass:

 
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Never happened to me and you would think that it probably would have because of my fragile mental state. I took loads of drugs back then and had some pretty weird experiences on them but I never had a 'bad trip' o saw anyone else have one either. It was a bit scary when I saw that giant clown up a tree but that was probably just because I'd just read Stephen King's 'It'. And I thought that it was hilarious when I'd taken too many really trippy pills and turned around to see a witch sitting on top of my TV. She wasn't a really scary witch though. She looked like that witch out of 'Chorlton and the Wheelies'. This lass:

Bumface even when your feeling depressed youre the funniest poster on here 👍
Chorlton and the Wheelies FFS 🤣🤣🤣
 
I should probably just add that I'm not recommending that anyone else who suffers from depression should take loads of illegal drugs. It's just what I did. And none of you ever want to be like me. You should do the opposite of whatever I did.
 
Bumface even when your feeling depressed youre the funniest poster on here 👍
Chorlton and the Wheelies FFS 🤣🤣🤣
I thought that you said that you were the funniest poster on here Nobby? Have you changed your mind now? If you can't laugh about your own mental health problems then you're really in trouble. Why do you think I call myself bumface on here? I've been being Steve mainly on this thread. Bumface is just a character who is a really exaggerated version of me who has all of my worst character traits. Bumface is me laughing at my own idiocy and taking the pee out of myself. I find that pretty amusing and therapeutic. Problem is that some people on here can't tell the difference between me being Steve and me just messing about and being bumface. But it seems like most people can.
 
I thought that you said that you were the funniest poster on here Nobby? Have you changed your mind now? If you can't laugh about your own mental health problems then you're really in trouble. Why do you think I call myself bumface on here? I've been being Steve mainly on this thread. Bumface is just a character who is a really exaggerated version of me who has all of my worst character traits. Bumface is me laughing at my own idiocy and taking the pee out of myself. I find that pretty amusing and therapeutic. Problem is that some people on here can't tell the difference between me being Steve and me just messing about and being bumface. But it seems like most people can.
I think you might have overtaken me in the funny stakes Bumface (I'm still in the top 5).
Don't ever think about setting fire to my work either.....I only have one very valuable Notebook 😉
I've hijacked another thread....sorry and thanks for sharing....

To everyone experiencing mental health issues. The mental health foundation 10 ways to wellbeing is really good....

 
I think you might have overtaken me in the funny stakes Bumface (I'm still in the top 5).
Don't ever think about setting fire to my work either.....I only have one very valuable Notebook 😉
I've hijacked another thread....sorry and thanks for sharing....

To everyone experiencing mental health issues. The mental health foundation 10 ways to wellbeing is really good....

I feel like it's me who's hijacked the thread Nobby. And I'm feeling bad about doing that now because this thread was about aet not me and I just staggered in to it and starting talking about my own crap in my usual insensitive way. That's what bumface does sometimes and that's probably why aet really doesn't like me at all.
 
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I feel like it's me who's hijacked the thread Nobby. And I'm feeling bad about doing that now because this thread was about aet not me and I just staggered in to it and starting talking about my own crap in to my usual insensitive way. That's what bumface does sometimes and that's probably why aet really doesn't like me at all.
Nah what you've posted is fantastic 👍
 
Nah what you've posted is fantastic 👍
Cheers for that Nobby. You seem to be one of the people on here who does really get me and understands when I'm just messing about and having a laugh and you can take it when I take the pee out of you and you do the same back to me. I really enjoy that. Try not to get put on the naughty step again mate. The board is a better place with you on here.
 
Whilst it might not be for everyone, taking Psylocibin in the form of magic mushrooms really has helped me shift the seemingly never ending dark clouds of depression. Its not a magic cure (wahey) but lots of studies are being made on it. I find it works anyway.
Mate, I have been VERY interested in the study of Psylocibin (sp?) .. my mushroom-head ( :ROFLMAO: ) pals who suffer bad anxiety/depression/PTSD talk about it a lot and recommend it to me all the time.

I was hearing 'they' were looking for patients with depressive diagnoses/anxiety/everything else under the sun associated to volunteer to take it and be observed. I am hearing it is this miracle drug that has got a lot of people out of extremely dark places and back on their feet. I would be very interested in using this.

I poisoned my body with every SSRI/SNRI blah blah under the sun for over a decade and got sick of it. Venlafaxine and back in the day 'Seroxat' have to be my worst experiences I was gurning in my sleep .. waking up feeling like I'd been hit with a bag o bricks over the head ... waiting to feel clearer in the head with lifestyle changes, etc, I wasn't making progress I was just too shy, to be honest with people around me to say that its just not getting better.

I also had two seizures around this time related to the venlafaxine I was taking .. it reacted badly by the sounds to another painkiller I was prescribed and over the course of the day I developed 'serotonin syndrome' and remember nothing other than waking up in the back of an ambulance, I couldn't remember my name, date of birth, where I lived ... it was terrifying

So sorry to blabber, safe to say I do not trust most modern anti-depressants/treatments and have been med-free for years, but suffering badly otherwise as I have stated over the days we've been discussing things.

I would be very interested to try psilocybin and if there is a way I could, I would. I didn't think anything like that would be authorised for use at the moment ..

My friends who like mushrooms etc now and then .. they will have it in their tea :ROFLMAO: Don't know much about that world but they say that for days on end, even weeks, after a night with the tea .. their depression goes, clear head on mornings and they get themselves back into gear without a cloudy mind and everything else that comes with it
 
Btw Aet - I am glad you are OK, I was kind of nervous on checking in on this thread today because I am a bit of a fanny like that but that's not important .. you are OK and that's all that matters

Keep posting old chap, we like you around the place and I hope today was a bit kinder to you than previous days have been.
 
To all you lads and lasses out there suffering with the terrible affliction I wish you nothing but success in your struggles.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with depression, different things work for different people.
Talking about your problems is a massive step in the right direction, there are a lot of good people out there who care and want to help.
Enjoy the good days and learn to embrace yourselves and don't let any negativity ruin your day,the people who say nasty things are sad individuals who revel in other peoples misery.
You can all beat this.
Take care one and all.
 
Yes Aet, frequently. It's f***ing hard work dealing with OCD, anxiety, depression and whatever else on a daily basis and 'living' often just feels so futile as I scrape through another day, knowing the next will only be more of the same. I'm strongly considering going down the psychedelics route at some point.

But please keep posting on here and don't give up the fight mate, there is always help at hand in some form 👍
Psylocibin is getting a lot of publicity as a treatment for depression, anxiety, ptsd etc. Which is wonderful - an impending victory for humankind and common sense.

I have mentioned it on here a few times because it is something that I have dealing with for a number of years. David Nutt has headed a number of studies in this country - Imperial College, King College Hospital recently. Its efficacy pishes on pharma. Radio 4 have some great documentaries on these studies which is how I got onto it about 10 years ago. One documentary reported a magic mushroom trial that yielded such positive results compared to pharma that they assumed the results we a freak of chance and ran the trial again. The next trial had even MORE positive results.

These things grow wherever animals cack, more or less. they grow in my garden for the same reason but not in the amounts that would make a difference. After rain, they pop up in batches in the front and back garden. liberty caps grow everywhere yet are notoriously difficult to grow artificially. They like to be left to do their thing naturally so let them get on with it and reap the fruits.
Nature has given us a helping hand that politicians have criminalised - how is this acceptable? How the fu.ck can a natural fungus be a crime?
Evidence has it that one, serious dose has positive effects for 6 months in patients that have hitherto not fared well on pharmaceuticals. One dose that helps for MONTHS. A natural mind opening remedy that even has nutritional value :) :)
These things grow as naturally and as plentiful as brambles. No need to cultivate or help them - they take care of themselves, just fine. They're non-toxic without risk of overdose, except tripping to the moon if you go too far. 😁
The society that we seem to accept has criminalised something that could bring an end of suffering for millions and millions of people. For free. We're left with expensive legalised drugs with horrific side effects.

May I say, this is from personal experience. Even microdosing magic mushrooms lifted my mood; I was singing; playing guitar for the first time in 10 years, but I wasnt tripping and went to work etc.
These things grow around us yet we are criminalised to make use of them. Think about this and how it is such a nonsense.
 
Absolutely heart breaking to hear of so many of my " Boro Brothers " struggles.

Living on the other side of the world makes me feel absolutely useless and powerless to offer help of any worthwhile meaning.

It's because I do live on the other side of the world that you are all so extra special to me.

I feel that you are all part of me. You're part of my heritage and my roots, we share similar backgrounds and memories and because
of that bond, I share your pain.

I can only offer from afar, my love and hopes and that you will all overcome your demons and that I will be reading so many more
of your posts for many years to come.

Best wishes to all and much love from Oz.
 
"Evidence has it that one, serious dose has positive effects for 6 months in patients that have hitherto not fared well on pharmaceuticals.
My addled brain read the word 'fared' as 'farted' when I read that sentence and that gave me a really good laugh because ,my Dad takes loads of prescription pills every day for his various ailments. and he always farts really well. Or badly, I suppose. You can see it both ways. He's really good at farting a lot though. It's best not to sit too close to him but you have to sit close to him because he's pretty much deaf now and he won't hear what you're saying properly if you're sitting too far away.
 
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