Ever wished you were dead?

bumface said:
Never happened to me and you would think that it probably would have because of my fragile mental state. I took loads of drugs back then and had some pretty weird experiences on them but I never had a 'bad trip' or saw anyone else have one either. It was a bit scary when I saw that giant clown up a tree but that was probably just because I'd just read Stephen King's 'It'. And I thought that it was hilarious when I'd taken too many really trippy pills and turned around to see a witch sitting on top of my TV. She wasn't a really scary witch though. She looked like that witch out of 'Chorlton and the Wheelies'. This lass:

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Is this you admitting youve had sex dreams about Miriam Margolyes
 
@MoggasDog
Hopefully David Nutt will receive a massive apology one day! Libs don't grow everywhere btw...you gotta hunt the little beauties down, and know what you're looking for. You don't wanna accidentally consume the wrong mushroom!
 
Lions Mane mushroom capsules are legal, have no psychedelic effects and are good for anxiety and depression fyi. They're great for fighting cancer and dementia too, nothing bad can come from taking them.
I use them to help repair nerve damage post covid, but also feel the benefits mentally.
 
I have had experience of depression but luckily I have never suffered from it. I have purposely not commented on these threads as I do not think I would have much to add. Sometimes it's good to just listen.
 
I’ve just sat in front of the telly and watched the Boro win

Come on!!!!!! We can do this !!!!!!

alright we’ll probably finish 7th or get dicked in the semi final by Luton but so what? It’s a distraction innit ?

I’ll reply properly tomorrow.

Take care boys and girls and UtB
 
Aet290204 said:
Because I wish I was.

Not a single day goes by without me thinking about it.

I hope some on here never experience the loneliness I have, and feel as worthless as I do on a daily basis. I’m nothing to anyone.

I hope i don’t wake up in the morning but I know I will.
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Sorry to hear this.
I’m feeling very similar but it’s been getting a bit better. I’ve had a lot of **** to deal with in my life , and probably have my first ever friend that I’ve ever made recently.
I think it’s brave to post this - and I hope you realise that you’re not alone - or whatever it is that makes you feel a bit better.
Keep going mate. Wishing you all the best
 
Cosmonaut said:
Haha, was going to say in your post before that Bumface, well, quote it actually saying your story is very similar to mine. Though mine is still an ongoing daily battle that has nearly got the better of me when I was younger and dafter, as you put it, too

'That's why I read so much and watch so many films and walk the dog until he's exhausted. ' - I pretty much said that to my sister the other day' :ROFLMAO:

But the dog walking/films thing ... we've got a lot it common there. In terms of needing the distraction ... I walk about 100 miles a day with my dog, good job it's him who wants to and demands to do it more than me or I'd have square eyes. He was absolutely on one today, must've dragged me over 5 miles :ROFLMAO:

My mental health state lately has been a combination of suicidal thoughts/voices telling me how pathetic anything I have ever tried to do was, how disgusting/pathetic I am and basically the 'do it!' voice through the night I have gotten used to .. but it doesn't quite come in that form.

I am a burden on my family because of all of my problems so I do think it makes more sense if I do just kill myself, then their lives are easier and sometimes I think they are waiting for me to do it. Those types of thoughts come in the night mostly.

It's mad isn't it how we can all discuss this openly nowadays. But good, as we can all beat it together.
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The voices are lying to you mate.
You may or may not believe me, but I’ve been through that, and they’re right old fibbers! Just wanted to point that out. Good luck bruv x
 
Sh1t. This is 5 pages since I posted it and f&&ked off on Sunday night.
I’ll never be able to take it all in.
And reply to everyone.
It’s one horrible affliction to deal with isn’t it.
I’m glad I’m not alone.

I am alone 99 per cent of my hours on this earth.

Nothing more to say except thank you @fmttmadmin for reaching out
 
Aet290204 said:
Sh1t. This is 5 pages since I posted it and f&&ked off on Sunday night.
I’ll never be able to take it all in.
And reply to everyone.
It’s one horrible affliction to deal with isn’t it.
I’m glad I’m not alone.

I am alone 99 per cent of my hours on this earth.

Nothing more to say except thank you @fmttmadmin for reaching out
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You seem a bit better after that result Aet. You just need to refuse to let it beat you. I'm an arrogant, cocky sod and if my brain wants to fight me I fight back now. You just have to work out a way to do that but as this thread proves, different things work for different people. You can't let it win. I can cope with it a lot better now that I'm older then I could when I was younger, for the moment at least. It's always there but I tell it to f*ck off or I'll lamp it one and I chase it away with distractions and booze.
 
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bumface said:
You seem a bit better after that result Aet. You just need to refuse to let it beat you. I'm an arrogant, cocky sod and if my brain wants to fight me I fight back now. You just have to work out a way to do that but as this thread proves, different things work for different people. You can't let in win. I can cope with it a lot better now that I'm older then I could when I was younger, for the moment at least. It's always there but I tell it to f*ck off or I'll lamp it one and I chase it away with distractions and booze.
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Don’t let it beat you.

Don’t let comments on a message board towards you beat you. Which, after a particularly awful weekend, late on a Sunday night, when you’ve been alone all weekend, is what prompted the initial post.

The Boro are a distraction. I came up for Huddersfield on Easter Monday for a distraction. May do the same for Stoke on Saturday except I get the usual scorn from family about trips up north. And it is a trek, i always almost need to get over it in my head.

At the moment it’s the hope that’s killing me. We ain’t good enough to go up but fk it let’s have a go eh????

And the cup run was fun !!!
 
Aet290204 said:
Don’t let it beat you.

Don’t let comments on a message board towards you beat you. Which, after a particularly awful weekend, late on a Sunday night, when you’ve been alone all weekend, is what prompted the initial post.

The Boro are a distraction. I came up for Huddersfield on Easter Monday for a distraction. May do the same for Stoke on Saturday except I get the usual scorn from family about trips up north. And it is a trek, i always almost need to get over it in my head.

At the moment it’s the hope that’s killing me. We ain’t good enough to go up but fk it let’s have a go eh????

And the cup run was fun !!!
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I meant what I said to you a while back when you and I had that argument. I don't hold grudges on here and I can't give advice because I'm a mess and do things my own way but if you're ever feeling low in the early hours and there aren't many posters around on here and you just need someone to talk to just send me a private message. I often find that it's the early hours of the morning when it can really get to me and I don't sleep much so I'm usually around on here when most people aren't. All the best to you mate.
 
bumface said:
I meant what I said to you a while back when you and I had that argument. I don't hold grudges on here and I can't give advice because I'm a mess and do things my own way but if you're ever feeling low in the early hours and there aren't many posters around on here and you just need someone to talk to just send me a private message. I often find that it's the early hours of the morning when it can really get to me and I don't sleep much so I'm usually around on here when most people aren't. All the best to you mate.
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What a lovely gesture, you're a good person.
 
RODROCKS said:
What a lovely gesture, you're a good person.
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I'm really not mate but it's kind of you to say that I am. I've done some terrible things in my time but I'm trying to make up for all of that now and not be so much of an @rsehole.
 
bumface said:
I'm really not mate but it's kind of you to say that I am. I've done some terrible things in my time but I'm trying to make up for all of that now and not be so much of an @rsehole.
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Good on ya Bumface ! the past is the past and the main thing is you are making up for your past misdemeanours so that's the main thing. I'm sure everybody has done things they're not proud of. Don't be so hard on yourself, life can be a bitch and when it is I always think of that saying "This Too Shall Pass" and it always does. Take care of yourself and keep doing what you're doing.
 
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