Life is hard.

sadgit

sadgit

Well-known member
I have stayed with a friend for the last week and the last 2 nights in hotels. Before that I lived in my car for a week at South Gare (again) before a Policeman followed me home to make sure I was ok, as I had ran my battery flat listening to the radio. I often forget that we really are surrounded by some amazing people. This guy could see I was in a right state and made me sit in his car and talked openly about his own issues. He then spoke to my wife for 30 minutes, he didn't need to do that . I'm going to go live in a room for a month from tomorrow to give my wife some space.

I never knew life could be this hard. As in your head, the pain, they torture you put yourself through,.

I have a call with Impact shortly, then I will head to Pools for an Andy's Man Club meeting. Without the support I get from talking to people, I don't even want to think about, what might have been. If you are struggling, just talk. If you are scared to talk, just talk. I want to find the real Mark, it has been 3 years next week when I cracked, I just want to be me again.
 
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure many think it’s simpler to try and keep everything to yourself but hopefully sharing makes things a little easier. Keep talking .. there’s some good people on here in amongst the weirdos who have your back
 
sadgit said:
I have stayed with a friend for the last week and the last 2 nights in hotels. Before that I lived in my car for a week at South Gare (again) before a Policeman followed me home to make sure I was ok, as I had ran my battery flat listening to the radio. I often forget that we really are surrounded by some amazing people. This guy could see I was in a right state and made me sit in his car and talked openly about his own issues. He then spoke to my wife for 30 minutes, he didn't need to do that . I'm going to go live in a room for a month from tomorrow to give my wife some space.

I never knew life could be this hard. As in your head, the pain, they torture you put yourself through,.

I have a call with Impact shortly, then I will head to Pools for an Andy's Man Club meeting. Without the support I get from talking to people, I don't even want to think about, what might have been. If you are struggling, just talk. If you are scared to talk, just talk. I want to find the real Mark, it has been 3 years next week when I cracked, I just want to be me again.
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It will get better mate. You just have to hang in there. I'm only still here because I was really crap at trying to kill myself when I was younger. I'm not exactly a happy chap now but I have people who need me and I try to focus on them and not think about my own problems.

I hope that things improve for you soon mate. All the best to you.
 
Much love, sadgit. As you know, there are many of us on here, and such a large proportion of the population at large who suffer relatable conditions.
I fear the way this world has headed, over the past couple of decades especially, is a root cause of the problems we encounter with our mental health.
My personal experiences come and go, so could be described as chronic, but there are periods of light amongst the dark, which often last for long enough for me to feel “normal”.
Whilst down in my black hole, I have been reminded, by professionals I trust, to remember the light is above, somewhere, and that I mustn’t get too frustrated trying to see or reach the light. I must, however remember and push myself to find the ladder and take the tiny steps upward. Those steps might be a chat with a mate, a long walk, a favourite film, a football message board. Each small step will eventually bring you high enough to see the light, which brings back hope. Once you have hope you can make it out of the hole.
All the very best, from another who understands
 
We need to get a club sorted out on here to just meet up for a chat. I have mentioned before a walking club but would be open to suggestions.

I'm meeting a poster on Wednesday for a coffee and this is the second time we have met. It is good to talk to someone different and then it gives me something different to chat to the wife about.
 
Norman_Conquest said:
We need to get a club sorted out on here to just meet up for a chat. I have mentioned before a walking club but would be open to suggestions.

I'm meeting a poster on Wednesday for a coffee and this is the second time we have met. It is good to talk to someone different and then it gives me something different to chat to the wife about.
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You're a very decent bloke. I'm glad you're on this place.
 
As a fellow sufferer, I wish you all the best. I have been in a similar situation and was in a terrible place a few years ago. You do get through it, often it takes you to think differently about things. Then you learn how to live with the condition.
You do so many good things for people, I really admire that and wish I could do those sort of things too.

All my best wishes
 
sadgit said:
I have stayed with a friend for the last week and the last 2 nights in hotels. Before that I lived in my car for a week at South Gare (again) before a Policeman followed me home to make sure I was ok, as I had ran my battery flat listening to the radio. I often forget that we really are surrounded by some amazing people. This guy could see I was in a right state and made me sit in his car and talked openly about his own issues. He then spoke to my wife for 30 minutes, he didn't need to do that . I'm going to go live in a room for a month from tomorrow to give my wife some space.

I never knew life could be this hard. As in your head, the pain, they torture you put yourself through,.

I have a call with Impact shortly, then I will head to Pools for an Andy's Man Club meeting. Without the support I get from talking to people, I don't even want to think about, what might have been. If you are struggling, just talk. If you are scared to talk, just talk. I want to find the real Mark, it has been 3 years next week when I cracked, I just want to be me again.
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I really feel for you, and I do wish you all the best - always reach out because as you say people are amazing at times. Whilst I do not have the issues you have experienced, I have been through some very dark times myself and cared for someone very close to me who suffered with episodes of severe depression. All I will say is that eventually we found a way to deal with it and it got better with time, I hope that this proves to be your own finding as you go forward.

Stay well, be safe, keep talking.
 
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sadgit said:
I have stayed with a friend for the last week and the last 2 nights in hotels. Before that I lived in my car for a week at South Gare (again) before a Policeman followed me home to make sure I was ok, as I had ran my battery flat listening to the radio. I often forget that we really are surrounded by some amazing people. This guy could see I was in a right state and made me sit in his car and talked openly about his own issues. He then spoke to my wife for 30 minutes, he didn't need to do that . I'm going to go live in a room for a month from tomorrow to give my wife some space.

I never knew life could be this hard. As in your head, the pain, they torture you put yourself through,.

I have a call with Impact shortly, then I will head to Pools for an Andy's Man Club meeting. Without the support I get from talking to people, I don't even want to think about, what might have been. If you are struggling, just talk. If you are scared to talk, just talk. I want to find the real Mark, it has been 3 years next week when I cracked, I just want to be me again.
Click to expand...
Big love to you Sir ❤️
 
I spend an awful lot of time trying to distract myself from the darker thoughts in my head which do come to a head sometimes. I've teared up on the way to work recently a few times and wondered what is wrong with myself. Indulged, or over indulged in short term fixes to numb it. It's turned my ambition into fancy and my emotional exchanges with my partner empty. I've got a close friend having an actual full scale nervous breakdown at the moment and it's so hard, feeling helpless to support someone.

I'm sorry you feel like this sadgit, I hope it's just a chapter in your story. Have you read Bob Mortimer's autobiography? It might be something to distract and help in some small way.
 
I almost left this place due to the political b***ks, but glad I didn't. Thank you for people replying and being honest and supportive. I had a cracking night at AMC and I've been on a couple of walks with other suffering people last week. I've had 3 full on breakdowns in the last 3 years. Not something I can describe but god it isn't nice. Please please, never bottle stuff up, I did and what a crazy place it is when it all comes out.
 
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