Preferred Pro Nouns

FatCat

FatCat

Well-known member
What’s your views - you’ve probably all seen this on application forms , online forms and so on over the last couple of years.

my Mrs was on a meeting and in the webex alongside the names some people had their preferred pro nouns so for example she, her etc. Only a few people had set them up and I can understand why, I won’t use real names but for example Sam Bernard - young lady probably sick of being called Bernard , I get that. One of the others was an Indian name and I guess your average person on the street may not have heard the name before and therefore it’s not obvious if the person was a man or woman. therefore again may be useful so that there are no misunderstandings.

the above seems a practical use, what will take me a while to get used to is where people choose pronouns that are inconsistent with their gender, I haven’t been faced with this in a work situation as yet - has anybody else ? Having always used pronouns based on peoples genders it would take me a while to switch my approach and I’m sure I may make the odd mistake along the way.

I think I would further struggle with other pro - nouns , was it the singer Sam smith who wants to be referred to as “They” or something like that.

I have no issue with it myself but after 30 odd years of my life using gender based pro-nouns there might be a few slips of the tongue on my part whilst I get used to this.

Any views, experiences in a work related scenario or otherwise?
 
I work on the principle of not deliberately personally offending someone ( other than when it's called for i.e on fmttm). If I'm wrong due to whatever woke/ politically correct or self recognised form of address someone prefers then by all means point it out and I'll use it but I'm not a flipping mind reader and I come from more simpler times.
 
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FlapJacks said:
I've noticed that too. More in the US than here.
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Yeah it's been fairly common for a few years now, especially in the more liberal cities. I had it on my email signature when living in San Francisco as did many of my colleagues..

I really don't see the harm in it, especially since it normalizes it for those people who may prefer different pronouns to their assumed gender.
 
I see several email signatures of people I work with that include He/Him, or She/Her. Very much in the way that Sam Smith now wants to be referred to as 'they' as they do not identify as either him or her.

Like someone said above, all harmless. I don't worry too much about it, nor give it much thought. I'll address people as they want to be addressed, no skin off my nose.
 
FatCat said:
What’s your views - you’ve probably all seen this on application forms , online forms and so on over the last couple of years.

my Mrs was on a meeting and in the webex alongside the names some people had their preferred pro nouns so for example she, her etc. Only a few people had set them up and I can understand why, I won’t use real names but for example Sam Bernard - young lady probably sick of being called Bernard , I get that. One of the others was an Indian name and I guess your average person on the street may not have heard the name before and therefore it’s not obvious if the person was a man or woman. therefore again may be useful so that there are no misunderstandings.

the above seems a practical use, what will take me a while to get used to is where people choose pronouns that are inconsistent with their gender, I haven’t been faced with this in a work situation as yet - has anybody else ? Having always used pronouns based on peoples genders it would take me a while to switch my approach and I’m sure I may make the odd mistake along the way.

I think I would further struggle with other pro - nouns , was it the singer Sam smith who wants to be referred to as “They” or something like that.

I have no issue with it myself but after 30 odd years of my life using gender based pro-nouns there might be a few slips of the tongue on my part whilst I get used to this.

Any views, experiences in a work related scenario or otherwise?
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Not had work related experiences with people changing pronouns based on gender roles etc and it's not something I really get.

I kind of like it in international companies when it's sometimes not clear whether the name is masculine or feminine to someone not from that country.

But as far as trans etc people using it and making a big fuss about it I tend to feel "oh get over yourselves" I guess it's not pleasant being confused about your gender but it's such a thing. I also know people on twitter who are clearly men and put "he/him" get dogs abuse off the trans community. That isn't right.

Eddie Izzard was on the wireless this week and has stated she wants to people to use "she/her" which is fine you can ask for what you like. What I did respect though is when Chris Moyles apologised to her for calling her "him" in the introduction.

She said "I don't care, its just a preference. A tiger doesn't care if they are she or he."

I respect that. That's probably my position. It's fine to want to be called a different gender pronoun as long as you don't get upset if people forget. Especially if for years people have been calling you he and all of a sudden you want she
 
Am sure that people who once were recognized as a he or she, who now want to be addressed differently will understand if people make mistakes and use what was previously used. Everyone is learning as they go tbh.

People refusing to do so on the basis that they think it's stupid or 'not normal' are the ones that will continue to be called out on it.
 
I've yet to encounter it in a work scenario but I think everyone is aware of it seeping into all aspects of life (a lot of Twitter bios for instance). My kids (16 and 13) are completely comfortable with it and while I do get it I do struggle with the them/they/their ones. I understand that they don't consider themselves either male or female but can't they come up with some new pro-nouns rather than using the plural. It's wrong and very confusing. If 'they' were coming to tea, I'd set multiple places but it would end up as just me and Sam Smith sat at a big table surrounded by loads of empty chairs which would be a bit embarrassing.
 
UgoAfro said:
I've yet to encounter it in a work scenario but I think everyone is aware of it seeping into all aspects of life (a lot of Twitter bios for instance). My kids (16 and 13) are completely comfortable with it and while I do get it I do struggle with the them/they/their ones. I understand that they don't consider themselves either male or female but can't they come up with some new pro-nouns rather than using the plural. It's wrong and very confusing. If 'they' were coming to tea, I'd set multiple places but it would end up as just me and Sam Smith sat at a big table surrounded by loads of empty chairs which would be a bit embarrassing.
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That's brilliant. Totally with you on it too, it's difficult to get your head around. I also think it sounds rude to say "they"
 
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