I know some will say that this is a football forum etc but my dad was Boro barmy and one of the contributing factors of him returning to England
whilst my mam, sister and I remained. I've also been giving him a lot of thought recently as in the past month it has been the anniversary of his birth and death.
A few months after returning to Oz and the four of us had all found work and all seeming to be going well, I asked my dad what was wrong as he had been
unusually quiet and looking rather miserable as the rest of us were chatting away about our day.
My mam said that dads not happy at work and so I asked again. Why dad, what's going on?
Argh this lad from work. Every day, every day, I go to work and nod my head and say morning to everyone and this one lad every day says " Ow ya goin ya
Pommie P**fter or ya Pommie Pr*ck Pommie Basta*d " I've had it up to here with him" as he almost slices his own throat with his fingernails. I'm gonna put
this through him as he's clenching his fist. Sit down dad my sister cries out, Dad sit down.
I was still laughing at the first hearing of Pommie P**fter but managed to spurt out " Dad, that means he likes you " WHAT ? Likes me, how the bloody hell do
you work that out, likes me ? All the lads at work like me but none of them call me a P**fter. Sit down Dad my sister tries again.
Dad thats the Aussie way. they love to wind us poms up, I cop it every day and they love it even more when you take the bait. Jeez dad, we've lived in Oz before
you should know that. Besides they talk to each other like that. You see it daily how someone will yell out G'day Billy ya old fart and in return the other will say
Bazza you wrinkly old pr*ck how've ya been?
Several days later, my mams stirring something on the stove and my dads right behind her with his arms stretched around her belly as I come in the back door.
Hey son, hows this, you're never going to believe what happened at work today.? Remember that lad that I was planning on murdering ?
I wasn't sure as I didn't know how many enemies my father might have made recently but said yeah I think so but I didn't know that things had gotten that bad.
He laughed and said no, son, listen, you won't believe it. He came up to me this morning and asked me if I would do him a big favour and whilst I was thinking
that I would do us all a favour by putting his nose on the other side of his head. He told me that his dad died when he was fourteen and how much he missed his
dad and how they did everything together and that he was going to get married soon and that if his dad was still alive that he would want his dad to be his best man
and he asked me if I would fill in for his dad.
I said Dad, that's lovely, did you say yes? I did son, I did.
See, I told you that he liked you. I know son, I know.
All four of us were invited to the wedding and reception and I had only met the groom momentarily before the bride arrived.
At the reception, I went to the toilet and in walked the groom and a couple of his mates and on noticing me he called out to me. He told me how proud he was
that my dad had been standing next to him as his best man. I told him that I was proud too but also told him that he was very lucky that my dad hadn't snotted him
one as my dad didn't take too kindly to being called a Pommie P**fter.
We all had a good laugh and as I was about to reach for the toilet door he called out to me again.
He said I don't know if your dad told you this but the day that I asked your dad the favour and told him the story of my dad and his death. Your dad grabbed hold of
me and gave me a big long hug and when he let go of me he said yes, of course I will son with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He said that that made him cry too
not only because he had said yes but he also called me Son.
Bloody hell, here I am now, fifteen years old with tears rolling down my cheek with arms wrapped around a man in the mens toilets.
Thank god none of my workmates were there to witness that scene.
That's my dad for ya. One day he's planning your death and the next he might well be mounting ya.
whilst my mam, sister and I remained. I've also been giving him a lot of thought recently as in the past month it has been the anniversary of his birth and death.
A few months after returning to Oz and the four of us had all found work and all seeming to be going well, I asked my dad what was wrong as he had been
unusually quiet and looking rather miserable as the rest of us were chatting away about our day.
My mam said that dads not happy at work and so I asked again. Why dad, what's going on?
Argh this lad from work. Every day, every day, I go to work and nod my head and say morning to everyone and this one lad every day says " Ow ya goin ya
Pommie P**fter or ya Pommie Pr*ck Pommie Basta*d " I've had it up to here with him" as he almost slices his own throat with his fingernails. I'm gonna put
this through him as he's clenching his fist. Sit down dad my sister cries out, Dad sit down.
I was still laughing at the first hearing of Pommie P**fter but managed to spurt out " Dad, that means he likes you " WHAT ? Likes me, how the bloody hell do
you work that out, likes me ? All the lads at work like me but none of them call me a P**fter. Sit down Dad my sister tries again.
Dad thats the Aussie way. they love to wind us poms up, I cop it every day and they love it even more when you take the bait. Jeez dad, we've lived in Oz before
you should know that. Besides they talk to each other like that. You see it daily how someone will yell out G'day Billy ya old fart and in return the other will say
Bazza you wrinkly old pr*ck how've ya been?
Several days later, my mams stirring something on the stove and my dads right behind her with his arms stretched around her belly as I come in the back door.
Hey son, hows this, you're never going to believe what happened at work today.? Remember that lad that I was planning on murdering ?
I wasn't sure as I didn't know how many enemies my father might have made recently but said yeah I think so but I didn't know that things had gotten that bad.
He laughed and said no, son, listen, you won't believe it. He came up to me this morning and asked me if I would do him a big favour and whilst I was thinking
that I would do us all a favour by putting his nose on the other side of his head. He told me that his dad died when he was fourteen and how much he missed his
dad and how they did everything together and that he was going to get married soon and that if his dad was still alive that he would want his dad to be his best man
and he asked me if I would fill in for his dad.
I said Dad, that's lovely, did you say yes? I did son, I did.
See, I told you that he liked you. I know son, I know.
All four of us were invited to the wedding and reception and I had only met the groom momentarily before the bride arrived.
At the reception, I went to the toilet and in walked the groom and a couple of his mates and on noticing me he called out to me. He told me how proud he was
that my dad had been standing next to him as his best man. I told him that I was proud too but also told him that he was very lucky that my dad hadn't snotted him
one as my dad didn't take too kindly to being called a Pommie P**fter.
We all had a good laugh and as I was about to reach for the toilet door he called out to me again.
He said I don't know if your dad told you this but the day that I asked your dad the favour and told him the story of my dad and his death. Your dad grabbed hold of
me and gave me a big long hug and when he let go of me he said yes, of course I will son with a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He said that that made him cry too
not only because he had said yes but he also called me Son.
Bloody hell, here I am now, fifteen years old with tears rolling down my cheek with arms wrapped around a man in the mens toilets.
Thank god none of my workmates were there to witness that scene.
That's my dad for ya. One day he's planning your death and the next he might well be mounting ya.