VestasBoro
Well-known member
I hope you upload the speech afterwards so we can all see how you ignored all our advice and just played it safe 
Best man speech
- Thread starter anth25
- Start date
hewielewie
Well-known member
I was my brothers Best Man and I did a PP presentation with all photographs on it from his youth and talked around them.
ThatFragranceGuy
Well-known member
I've done a few, and I've listened to hundreds as I used to be a wedding photographer.
Absolutely don't google best man speeches as you will come accross the same "funny" templates that everyone else doing so has come accross and you really do hear the same speech over and over again as a result.
People in the room will have been at other weddings and written their own speeches so will probably recognise them same tropes - I think my least favourite one was the "I asked around for what people thought of him but only Cleveland police replied and said he was always the perfect gentleman whenever he stayed the night".
Just write it naturally, share some funny stories, wish them luck and give a toast and you will be fine.
Absolutely don't google best man speeches as you will come accross the same "funny" templates that everyone else doing so has come accross and you really do hear the same speech over and over again as a result.
People in the room will have been at other weddings and written their own speeches so will probably recognise them same tropes - I think my least favourite one was the "I asked around for what people thought of him but only Cleveland police replied and said he was always the perfect gentleman whenever he stayed the night".
Just write it naturally, share some funny stories, wish them luck and give a toast and you will be fine.
BaronSmoggie
Well-known member
I've done two. The first was for my brother after his best man unfortunately passed away.
The second was for my best mate and we are so alike we had written all the same jokes and punchlines. His went down a storm and I had to think on my feet and it went down like a fart in a lift.
Never again
The second was for my best mate and we are so alike we had written all the same jokes and punchlines. His went down a storm and I had to think on my feet and it went down like a fart in a lift.
Never again
Support Your Local Team
Active member
I did a best man speech about 10 years ago for a cousin. Went down a storm with so many compliments. I didn't rush it and probably lasted about 20 mins. I put plenty of work into it and took all the generic/obligatory compliments and stories about the groom/bride and put funny twists and laughs into every bit of it. It meant that there was laughs all the way through which is important.
I also practised my delivery loads in the month building up to it. By the time the day came it was straight forward for me.
The truth is people want a funny and entertaining speech especially from the best man. You cannot please everyone so just go for the funniest and most pleasing one you can - nothing extreme but don't hold back for fear of upsetting anybody.
I also practised my delivery loads in the month building up to it. By the time the day came it was straight forward for me.
The truth is people want a funny and entertaining speech especially from the best man. You cannot please everyone so just go for the funniest and most pleasing one you can - nothing extreme but don't hold back for fear of upsetting anybody.
ThatFragranceGuy
Well-known member
A 20 minute speech? Hopefully you just mean it felt like it lasted that long
anth25
Well-known member
Well that's not made me feel any better considering it's next Thursday!!!!
wilkos_perm
Well-known member
Short is fine. I've done it twice and both were fairly short and managed to get a few laughs out of it. Nobody wants somebody droning on, especially if they're waiting to eat. Stories of someone being drunk etc etc can be pretty tedious. A bit of observation on their character but no "you had to be there" stories.
wilkos_perm
Well-known member
Don't mnention the elephant in the room, some might laugh, but the bride doesn't want it mentioning realistically does she?
I'd avoid pre written jokes unless you're really good at delivering them, just some basic observations on the grooms charater flaws will do, and don't try to take on a personality that isn't yours, it's got to be natural.
Acklam_Lad
Well-known member
Pull a load of paper out of your pocket… few seconds looking at it then say oh no that’s the one from last time…
Bit cheeky but not offensive to anyone.
You can even take the sting out of it for him by saying you really need to buy a new suit or you’re amazed this suit still fits.
Bit cheeky but not offensive to anyone.
You can even take the sting out of it for him by saying you really need to buy a new suit or you’re amazed this suit still fits.
anth25
Well-known member
Think this is right. We've had so many class nights out together on the beer but putting them into stories that people are going to want to hear and find funny isn't easy. He's got plenty of character flaws to draw on too!!!!
ForssAwakens
Well-known member
If you go down the traits route you can open up with a cracking starting.
I thought it was going be really tough to write this speech but then I realised that this isn’t his first rodeo, he’s bald and he’s got a massive nose
I thought it was going be really tough to write this speech but then I realised that this isn’t his first rodeo, he’s bald and he’s got a massive nose
clay
Well-known member
Can't believe I had to scroll so far down to find a reply like this!
It's the bride & groom's day, not the best man's. Don't crack jokes that will undermine it just for a cheap laugh, unless you are 200% certain that nobody there is going to be offended by it.
Steer
Well-known member
Genuinely this. Absolutely all of the gags in this thread should be left where they are. By mentioning it, you risk genuinely upsetting the bride and others. Don't use any of these jokes at all. No good can come of it.
Be nice.
Priv
Well-known member
This is a speech I used as the best man at my mates wedding a few years ago, he was re-marrying his ex wife some of it written by me some swiped off the internet. Ive left names out.
Good afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen, most of you know me but for those that don’t I’m ------, the best man. Anyone else here have that feeling of déjà vu? I read somewhere that a best man’s speech shouldn’t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies & gentleman – I give you Mr & Mrs ---------. Just kidding, he may of finished by now but I’m not that quick.
I want to thank ---------- for asking me to be part of his big day once again. It means a lot. Though I’m pretty sure I’m only doing the speech as he didn’t trust what ------------ might say and he wanted a PG version.
Speaking of -----------, there is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I’d like to thank him for following that rule to the letter. I hope you remember to tuck your trousers into your chin so you don’t spill your dinner or beer on your shirt.
I also want to say thanks to my fellow wedding party members for all your hard work in making today special. You all look amazing especially -------- and the girls and it will be great catching up with you all later after seeing so many happy faces so far today.
The groom and I have been friends for pretty much all our lives. We spent the best part of 20 years living a few doors apart and basically in each other’s pocket. We’ve had a lot of good times together—we’ve seen good, bad, and more than a lot of ugly, and survived to tell many tales. Unfortunately, most aren’t suitable for the kids to hear so you will have to buy me a drink later to get me to spill the beans.
We’ve always had a bit of a strange bond, I mean how many people try and break each other’s legs on a football pitch then a few hours later sit chilling out listening to music together or throw chairs and tables at each other in a classroom only to then go out and get drunk together on his Dads cans of red stripe. Various nights spent in tents for a variety of reasons but all good fun when looking back.
------------ a great guy and even took getting his head cracked opened for me as a child with my big mouth stirring things up and he took the brunt of the consequences. We’ve always kind of stuck together. He’s someone that no matter what will always have your back and I will always have his. I’d run through a brick wall for the lad and he wouldn’t hesitate either. We’ve always kept each other on our toes but we’ve also managed to make sure we never cross too far over the line either. He is one of the most honest & loyal people you could ever meet. And it makes me happy that he has someone who sees and appreciates that. He wasn’t the same guy when he lost you -------- but he’s certainly back at his best now.
--------------, I think you already know it but you are marrying one of the best friends a person could ask for. You certainly bring out the best in him and despite being from Marske so he can’t really say it but I know he really loves and cares for you and of course the kids as well.
----------, -----------, I am really happy and excited for the both of you, and I know you’re going to be a great team once again. I wish you nothing but love and happiness for many years to come. So that’s about all from me but I’d like to leave ----------- with a final bit of help, a list of things he can do to impress his wife, so we don’t end up doing this a third time. So here it is: HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN - Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine her and dine her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, go to the ends of the Earth for her. I have another list here for --------, titled “HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR MAN” - Its only got one entry - Turn up naked, with a large bolognaise parmo.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, please be upstanding as we toast........the Bride and Groom!
Good afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen, most of you know me but for those that don’t I’m ------, the best man. Anyone else here have that feeling of déjà vu? I read somewhere that a best man’s speech shouldn’t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies & gentleman – I give you Mr & Mrs ---------. Just kidding, he may of finished by now but I’m not that quick.
I want to thank ---------- for asking me to be part of his big day once again. It means a lot. Though I’m pretty sure I’m only doing the speech as he didn’t trust what ------------ might say and he wanted a PG version.
Speaking of -----------, there is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I’d like to thank him for following that rule to the letter. I hope you remember to tuck your trousers into your chin so you don’t spill your dinner or beer on your shirt.
I also want to say thanks to my fellow wedding party members for all your hard work in making today special. You all look amazing especially -------- and the girls and it will be great catching up with you all later after seeing so many happy faces so far today.
The groom and I have been friends for pretty much all our lives. We spent the best part of 20 years living a few doors apart and basically in each other’s pocket. We’ve had a lot of good times together—we’ve seen good, bad, and more than a lot of ugly, and survived to tell many tales. Unfortunately, most aren’t suitable for the kids to hear so you will have to buy me a drink later to get me to spill the beans.
We’ve always had a bit of a strange bond, I mean how many people try and break each other’s legs on a football pitch then a few hours later sit chilling out listening to music together or throw chairs and tables at each other in a classroom only to then go out and get drunk together on his Dads cans of red stripe. Various nights spent in tents for a variety of reasons but all good fun when looking back.
------------ a great guy and even took getting his head cracked opened for me as a child with my big mouth stirring things up and he took the brunt of the consequences. We’ve always kind of stuck together. He’s someone that no matter what will always have your back and I will always have his. I’d run through a brick wall for the lad and he wouldn’t hesitate either. We’ve always kept each other on our toes but we’ve also managed to make sure we never cross too far over the line either. He is one of the most honest & loyal people you could ever meet. And it makes me happy that he has someone who sees and appreciates that. He wasn’t the same guy when he lost you -------- but he’s certainly back at his best now.
--------------, I think you already know it but you are marrying one of the best friends a person could ask for. You certainly bring out the best in him and despite being from Marske so he can’t really say it but I know he really loves and cares for you and of course the kids as well.
----------, -----------, I am really happy and excited for the both of you, and I know you’re going to be a great team once again. I wish you nothing but love and happiness for many years to come. So that’s about all from me but I’d like to leave ----------- with a final bit of help, a list of things he can do to impress his wife, so we don’t end up doing this a third time. So here it is: HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN - Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine her and dine her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, go to the ends of the Earth for her. I have another list here for --------, titled “HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR MAN” - Its only got one entry - Turn up naked, with a large bolognaise parmo.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, please be upstanding as we toast........the Bride and Groom!
newyddion
Well-known member
First one I did I got heckled by a very drunk groom lol
ended up saying how very lucky he was and how and was bigging up the bride beautiful, intelligent, funny and finished up with how opposite attract. Wrapped it up at a 2nd reception just saying about cherishing the moments in life and being thankful for sharing in such a special occasion.
Second one I was asked to do something a bit different (different couple btw) I did a Wikipedia search of the day and mentioned all the important events that occurred on those days.. making reference to the bride and groom then compared favourably people that were born on that day and compared them to the bride and groom. Finished with a soppy romantic bit about being in the presence of true love and friendship.
But yeah.. you could just search funny/good/great best man speeches on YouTube and take notes! - there’s one with props that was good that I can barely remember. Good luck!
ended up saying how very lucky he was and how and was bigging up the bride beautiful, intelligent, funny and finished up with how opposite attract. Wrapped it up at a 2nd reception just saying about cherishing the moments in life and being thankful for sharing in such a special occasion.
Second one I was asked to do something a bit different (different couple btw) I did a Wikipedia search of the day and mentioned all the important events that occurred on those days.. making reference to the bride and groom then compared favourably people that were born on that day and compared them to the bride and groom. Finished with a soppy romantic bit about being in the presence of true love and friendship.
But yeah.. you could just search funny/good/great best man speeches on YouTube and take notes! - there’s one with props that was good that I can barely remember. Good luck!
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I would not mention or make any reference to the 1st marriage.
Everyone invited will almost certainly already know. This is their day.
Everyone invited will almost certainly already know. This is their day.
I definitely would not like it.
anth25
Well-known member
No time for props. Gonna have to rely on my charm, humour and good looks...........am monumentally f&*ked