This Depression lark

Aet290204 said:
Just some thoughts from me:

Depression is a horrible affliction and one I firmly believe you never recover from you just learn to cope with it

And unless you are acting strangely, seriously no-one in the street will bat an eyelid at you.

Meeting new people is always scary. But you did it. Even if you didn’t say much you still did it. And like someone has already said new people can become old friends.

Finally, and my tongue is firmly in my cheek now, don’t use Boro as a distraction technique. Trust me, last night’s performance very nearly set me off on my latest depressive episode….😂
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I am sure I said this before on here. My hypnotherapist replied to my saying I couldn't talk on the phone to people as I was, lets use the word, scared. He said and I quote " do you think these people give a flying fuk about you and your life?"

I just need to remember this.
 
sadgit said:
I am sure I said this before on here. My hypnotherapist replied to my saying I couldn't talk on the phone to people as I was, lets use the word, scared. He said and I quote " do you think these people give a flying fuk about you and your life?"

I just need to remember this.
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You be you. Don’t let anyone else derail that and try to stop caring (too much) what (unimportant) others think. It was good meeting you on Saturday mate and we’ll have more of a chat at the next one.

In the meantime, hold your head high and stride forward through life. Stop apologising for who you are and the issues you have, you absolutely don’t need to apologise (or justify). Life is a tough path and we all stumble badly at times, there’s no shame in that and no need to beat oneself up for it. You can and will beat them. Coming from some of the dark places I’ve been to I know it is possible to do and if I can do it, I know you can too.

🍰 &☕️ 👍
 
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El Guapo said:
You be you. Don’t let anyone else derail that and try to stop caring (too much) what (unimportant) others think. It was good meeting you on Saturday mate and we’ll have more of a chat at the next one.

In the meantime, hold your head high and stride forward through life. Stop apologising for who you are and the issues you have, you absolutely don’t need to apologise (or justify). Life is a tough path and we all stumble badly at times, there’s no shame in that and no need to beat oneself up for it. You can and will beat them. Coming from some of the dark places I’ve been to I know it is possible to do and if I can do it, I know you can too.

🍰 &☕️ 👍
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I am chasing the dream, does it exist? On another post I said I want 20k to clear my debt, would it help? I run away hence the Ukraine trips. I want to be happy, I want to be that guy who self drove in Botswana for 10 days, or the guy who helped people leave Ukraine. I just know I need to be that person again.
 
sadgit said:
I am chasing the dream, does it exist? On another post I said I want 20k to clear my debt, would it help? I run away hence the Ukraine trips. I want to be happy, I want to be that guy who self drove in Botswana for 10 days, or the guy who helped people leave Ukraine. I just know I need to be that person again.
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I know you can be it and do it. You’ve already done it so you can again. What you have done for Ukraine is nothing short of remarkable and shows exactly who you are. You’re a better man than me because I wouldn’t have even thought about it let alone actually done it. You should be rightly proud of it, of who you are and what you have achieved and done. All of that is worth so much more than money. Stand tall mate.
 
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Does the ‘dream’ exist? Take one step at a time towards it and see, but don’t make it the only or ultimate goal / dream because you might miss other and better ‘dreams’ along the way. Life is full of opportunity and possibility and there’s only you holding yourself back. My dreams are small, I just want to find inner peace and to be happy with who I am. My son has helped give me a lot of inner peace and reason, and also a realisation that I am just me; no more, no less, and it is good enough. I am content with that. I fall down now and again, I’m not ashamed of that, but more importantly I am not ashamed of me. I look outwards and not inwards now and I know all will be well. You can turn things in a similar way I am sure. Don’t get downhearted, keep your head up, really look around and move forward one step at a time towards whatever you perceive as the dream, just don’t be blind to other things that may present themselves to you along the way that may help you reach your inner contentment and peace.
 
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Thanks guys and thanks Mr El Guapo. I went for a walk out just now, kept my head looking up and not down. Loved the cold air on my face. I spoke to a neighbour yesterday and she also said what did in Ukraine was exceptional. I just drove cars. It wasn't anything special, just long drives. But it does remind me, I can do anything. I have no family who were proud of me. I started life with nothing, but I got me to be where I am. No one helped me. My parents sucked the life out of me and left me with 30k debt at 19 years old. I buried all my life but i can finally talk about it. The mental trauma was horrible. Sorry to bang on again, but I want to show that I don't want to keep this hidden anymore. I need to get my head right but want other people to know, you aren't alone is this god awful disease
 
sadgit said:
Thanks guys and thanks Mr El Guapo. I went for a walk out just now, kept my head looking up and not down. Loved the cold air on my face. I spoke to a neighbour yesterday and she also said what did in Ukraine was exceptional. I just drove cars. It wasn't anything special, just long drives. But it does remind me, I can do anything. I have no family who were proud of me. I started life with nothing, but I got me to be where I am. No one helped me. My parents sucked the life out of me and left me with 30k debt at 19 years old. I buried all my life but i can finally talk about it. The mental trauma was horrible. Sorry to bang on again, but I want to show that I don't want to keep this hidden anymore. I need to get my head right but want other people to know, you aren't alone is this god awful disease
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You’re not alone mate.
 
etmfc said:
I have the utmost respect for all of you suffering from and living with depression. I find reading these posts inspiring. I don't think you realise your own courage and inner strength.
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Thank you. It is my wife who suffers the most. I want to feel alive again. Something 4 years ago made me break, well work pressure,I just want to feel life again. I didn't even watch the Chelsea game, probably a great decision 😁
 
sadgit, people like you with your selfless trips to Ukraine are an inspiration to me.
You say you do it to hide but it still remains a personal sacrifice nontheless. Something real and tangible that matters to others.

Could i do it? Yes. Do I? No, because I'm too selfish.
People like me say they support Ukraine but do nowt about it.

Easy words from me but said in honesty.
You should feel proud of yourself for your sacrifice.
 
zzzzz said:
sadgit, people like you with your selfless trips to Ukraine are an inspiration to me.
You say you do it to hide but it still remains a personal sacrifice nontheless. Something real and tangible that matters to others.

Could i do it? Yes. Do I? No, because I'm too selfish.
People like me say they support Ukraine but do nowt about it.

Easy words from me but said in honesty.
You should feel proud of yourself for your sacrifice.
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I appreciate this. It was mad driving around Kiev at 2am during their curfew, roads empty, army/police road blocks everywhere. Since I was delivering aid, I was allowed to be out in the van. Residents, not allowed. It was pitch back, no lights on, Utterly mental to think I was doing that. I forget at times who I am, trips were long but I knew why I was doing it. I cared I still care, I need to sort me out. I just checked, I did about 8k miles and 14 UA/PL crossings. I'm a good bloke, sometimes
 
You are a marvelous bloke. You are a very brave bloke and you are an inspirational, selfless, caring bloke who I look up to even though we have never met. Your and aet posts help me enormously as a fellow sufferer. I have just had my meds changed after a breakdown recently and you have no idea how much encouragement you pass on. You are not alone mate. You are a superstar
 
Trug said:
You are a marvelous bloke. You are a very brave bloke and you are an inspirational, selfless, caring bloke who I look up to even though we have never met. Your and aet posts help me enormously as a fellow sufferer. I have just had my meds changed after a breakdown recently and you have no idea how much encouragement you pass on. You are not alone mate. You are a superstar
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Not brave, just honest. I've not been on medication for 2 years now, they don't work for some people. I hope the change works for you. Breakdowns are strange right? I was asked the other day to describe mine, how do you put it into words? Valium helps numb it but that is all it does, but how to you actually describe a breakdown? I go into a shivering wreck but I cannot describe how it feels. I still cannot believe how open I am on here, knowing have met a few of the guys now.
 
sadgit said:
I appreciate this. It was mad driving around Kiev at 2am during their curfew, roads empty, army/police road blocks everywhere. Since I was delivering aid, I was allowed to be out in the van. Residents, not allowed. It was pitch back, no lights on, Utterly mental to think I was doing that. I forget at times who I am, trips were long but I knew why I was doing it. I cared I still care, I need to sort me out. I just checked, I did about 8k miles and 14 UA/PL crossings. I'm a good bloke, sometimes
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Mate the most altruistic thing most of us do is chuck a quid or two in a chuggers collection tin, put a can of baked beans in the foodbank collection box in the local Tesco at Xmas or give up their seat on a train for an elderly person. Stop putting yourself down.

Having said that, I know exactly why you do it.

Look after yourself mate. Be kind to yourself.
 
Aet290204 said:
Mate the most altruistic thing most of us do is chuck a quid or two in a chuggers collection tin, put a can of baked beans in the foodbank collection box in the local Tesco at Xmas or give up their seat on a train for an elderly person. Stop putting yourself down.

Having said that, I know exactly why you do it.

Look after yourself mate. Be kind to yourself.
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I sit down in the street with homeless people and ask, how can I help them? It is just me. I have worked from having zero and always put others 1st. I sat with a guy yesterday for 30 minutes, I've done that several times now. I'm now being kicked out of my house I don't know where to go. I need to find a place to live. It is amazing how quickly it unravels. Please please please don't bottle stuff up, it ends up being so much worse.
 
sadgit said:
I sit down in the street with homeless people and ask, how can I help them? It is just me. I have worked from having zero and always put others 1st. I sat with a guy yesterday for 30 minutes, I've done that several times now. I'm now being kicked out of my house I don't know where to go. I need to find a place to live. It is amazing how quickly it unravels. Please please please don't bottle stuff up, it ends up being so much worse.
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That show’s tremendous character

If I was nearer to Teesside I’d help.

How are you becoming homeless?

I dont want to belittle anything but Are you sure it’s that bad ? Or are you catastrophizing it ?

(Only saying that out of personal experience)
 
sadgit said:
Holy hell it gets on your nerves. I try my best to beat it but 4 years in it still smacks you in the face, from no where. I met some amazing people on Saturday, from here and I couldn't enjoy it. I was quivering like a crazy person. I'm now back to wondering what people in the street think of me. Like they even notice.
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But you need to take the positive...you made the effort and that's amazing...you should be proud taking that step.....you're doing the right things by getting out there and that makes you epic. Screw what others think of you...take the little victories for yourself because they become bigger in your mind....you are fab...don't you ever forget that!
 
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