I'm sure we've all got a few and just as sure that we would all get a good laugh if we were to reveal some of them.
Mine are a bit crude but that goes with the territory when you have been "caught with your pants down", for me, literally.
I went along to the doctors with my wife when she first had signs of arthritis when her hands and shoulder were becoming very painful.
After the doctor had finished with her, my wife looked at me and said, Well???? Aren't you going to tell the doctor about your problem?
I looked at her with a look that could kill.
The doctor looked at me and asked what problem did I have.
I said, my anus doc whilst giving my wife another filthy look.
It's really itchy and sometimes it's sore, really sore.
So sore that when I go for a poo and my head is saying yes, yes, yes, my bum is saying no, no no and find that i tense up fighting myself and
my poo comes out like strands of spaghetti.
He showed me to the bed and told me to take off my pants and undies whilst he put on a pair of surgical gloves.
He spread eagled my legs and bent me over the bed so's that he could have a proper good look.
As he was spreading my cheeks, I was thinking, I don't believe this, this can't be happening to me, I didn't come here for this, only two minutes
ago, my life was perfect and now, here I am, allowing another man to spread my bum cheeks, I'll kill her when we get home.
When he released my cheeks, I started to pull my pants up, thinking, thank god that's over, when I noticed him putting something like Nivea on
his index finger and new immediately that this was not over by a long shot and with my wife smiling in the background.
He came up behind me and placed me into position once again and whilst his finger was twisting right to left searching for an eternity for
god only knows what, there was a knock on the door.
My wife got up and opened the door and a young woman came in with a jug of water.
Just what I needed, either to drink or to pour all over the doctor and she put it down on the doctors desk.
Is this for real? are you kidding me? couldn't this have waited until the patient was done with, for christs sake, a jar of effing water for the doc?, now
of all times?
When we sat down, he looked at me and said, you have a Vistula.
I looked at him with the same look that I had given my wife and thought to myself, is that Latin for you've just been fisted good and proper or was there
something wrong with me?
When we got outside, I stopped my wife and turned her to me and said.. Don't you ever do that to me again.
With a startled look, she said, What? and started to giggle.
You know what, you let a young girl come in when the doctor had his finger fair up my ar8e.
She howled with laughter and tried telling me that she was a nurse. She wasn't a bloody nurse she was the secretary.
I was livid, not only had I been totally humiliated, only a couple of minutes ago, I lost my virginity, and she was
laughing and more than likely so was the doctor and his secretary, uncontrollably, more than likely.
If there was to be any good come out of this, it was the fact that I knew that I could live the rest of my life without the
worry of ever having any gay thoughts ever having to bother me.
Mine are a bit crude but that goes with the territory when you have been "caught with your pants down", for me, literally.
I went along to the doctors with my wife when she first had signs of arthritis when her hands and shoulder were becoming very painful.
After the doctor had finished with her, my wife looked at me and said, Well???? Aren't you going to tell the doctor about your problem?
I looked at her with a look that could kill.
The doctor looked at me and asked what problem did I have.
I said, my anus doc whilst giving my wife another filthy look.
It's really itchy and sometimes it's sore, really sore.
So sore that when I go for a poo and my head is saying yes, yes, yes, my bum is saying no, no no and find that i tense up fighting myself and
my poo comes out like strands of spaghetti.
He showed me to the bed and told me to take off my pants and undies whilst he put on a pair of surgical gloves.
He spread eagled my legs and bent me over the bed so's that he could have a proper good look.
As he was spreading my cheeks, I was thinking, I don't believe this, this can't be happening to me, I didn't come here for this, only two minutes
ago, my life was perfect and now, here I am, allowing another man to spread my bum cheeks, I'll kill her when we get home.
When he released my cheeks, I started to pull my pants up, thinking, thank god that's over, when I noticed him putting something like Nivea on
his index finger and new immediately that this was not over by a long shot and with my wife smiling in the background.
He came up behind me and placed me into position once again and whilst his finger was twisting right to left searching for an eternity for
god only knows what, there was a knock on the door.
My wife got up and opened the door and a young woman came in with a jug of water.
Just what I needed, either to drink or to pour all over the doctor and she put it down on the doctors desk.
Is this for real? are you kidding me? couldn't this have waited until the patient was done with, for christs sake, a jar of effing water for the doc?, now
of all times?
When we sat down, he looked at me and said, you have a Vistula.
I looked at him with the same look that I had given my wife and thought to myself, is that Latin for you've just been fisted good and proper or was there
something wrong with me?
When we got outside, I stopped my wife and turned her to me and said.. Don't you ever do that to me again.
With a startled look, she said, What? and started to giggle.
You know what, you let a young girl come in when the doctor had his finger fair up my ar8e.
She howled with laughter and tried telling me that she was a nurse. She wasn't a bloody nurse she was the secretary.
I was livid, not only had I been totally humiliated, only a couple of minutes ago, I lost my virginity, and she was
laughing and more than likely so was the doctor and his secretary, uncontrollably, more than likely.
If there was to be any good come out of this, it was the fact that I knew that I could live the rest of my life without the
worry of ever having any gay thoughts ever having to bother me.