Hard work being me

L

Legz

Well-known member
Anxiety has always been a part of my life since childhood trauma. At the age of 49 I realised i needed more help cos my coping mechanisms don't work anymore and I went and I asked...but I'm proper struggling now..
Back at the doctors Friday but Jesus....throwing my first panic attack in a shop yesterday and left work today...I've never been this ill....or scared!!
Am I just letting people around me down, I feel guilty...my family...my work...
Maybe I'm just venting on here because I can I just..for the first time.
I'm supposed to be the strong one and I can't
Ignore me...I just needed to write it down and know I'm not an idiot
 
Keep communicating Legz, the FMTTM Family are here to help you through this. We all have our bad days. As our Mam used to say… “A problem shared is a problem halved”. It is true. (y)
 
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Hey - hold it there

We all get anxious, stressed, worried about things, jobs, bills, the way the world seems to be on the brink of something bad, be that climate, economy, scarcity of basic goods, or whatever the media are pushing as the latest panic button.

Take a step back and if you partake, disconnect form the social media circus for a start - just don't tune in to any of it. Don't watch or listen to the news and focus on the things that are good around you like family and friends. Take some long walks - by the beach, by a local river, and breathe in the goodness that is there and free for all.

Talk to us here - it's free and there are great people on this here site - we may not always agree on everything - but we do agree that we are a Boro family and we look after our own.

Reach out if you need to talk further.
 
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I just feel absolute let down....I'm mam...the wife..the sister...the daughter....the work mate....everyone looks to me for the steadiness and I don't have it in me at the moment so feel like I'm letting everyone down.
We all have our own problems..why should I bring people down with mine
 
Maybe you should share your problems with a Family member. They may appreciate it that you have finally confided in them and they can help you out for a change.
 
That description of you is what has been helping your family for years.
It's your time to get some of that back . Let those close to you know you need help and more importantly take it when it's offered.
There's no shame in having to re evaluate your role. If you don't get some support now then you won't be able to help them in the future.
Take the professional help, there are good coping techniques for dealing with stress and anxiety which they can pass onto you.
Lastly remember what you have been able to achieve for those around you in the past and realise just what you mean to them.
Good luck Legs .
 
Legz said:
I just feel absolute let down....I'm mam...the wife..the sister...the daughter....the work mate....everyone looks to me for the steadiness and I don't have it in me at the moment so feel like I'm letting everyone down.
We all have our own problems..why should I bring people down with mine
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May be you just need to be you for a while - that and nothing else.
The routine and the responsibility is too much for you so let it go?
 
Anybody who has read or used this site knows that you are never alone nor the only one suffering from a mental illness. I think its one of the best things about this site. We all have own veiws and somew can be opposite sides of the spectrum but we seem to come together for mental illness.

Kia Kaha Legz, maybe its now time to have some me time and not to think about others. Its not going to be easy because you sound like the sort of person who is always giving to others.
 
Legz said:
Anxiety has always been a part of my life since childhood trauma. At the age of 49 I realised i needed more help cos my coping mechanisms don't work anymore and I went and I asked...but I'm proper struggling now..
Back at the doctors Friday but Jesus....throwing my first panic attack in a shop yesterday and left work today...I've never been this ill....or scared!!
Am I just letting people around me down, I feel guilty...my family...my work...
Maybe I'm just venting on here because I can I just..for the first time.
I'm supposed to be the strong one and I can't
Ignore me...I just needed to write it down and know I'm not an idiot
Click to expand...
The board are here for you brother. I’ve suffered with MH issues all my life, or at least have realised I did when I asked for help. Diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD, asking for help is brave. You are strong. You are not an idiot. You cannot help others if you aren’t well. Panic attacks are horrific, I’ve not suffered myself but watched my mother struggling for years, she describes them as sheer terror.
I have a mate, ex forces, cracking lad, he went to hospital thinking he was dying, was told it was a panic attack, believe me, he’s as tough as it gets!
You are on the journey to recovery or at least trying to get the help, be dogged in demanding what you need, don’t be fobbed off.
Once you understand what is happening, you’ll develop new ways to cope.
Don’t be afraid to consider medication, it’s changed my life. You are never alone.
 
Sharing your emotions and feelings is a true sign of strength not weakness, anxiety is something we all have in different amounts. It creeps up on us and stalks us all. You are never letting yourself or anyone else down. My advice is to talk to a trained counsellor to openly discuss how you feel and speak over your emotions and let it all out. You will learn how to take charge of your thoughts and worries again and control feelings and rationalise behaviours. Good luck on your journey and the fmttm family will always be with you every step of the way to support you.
 
Legz said:
I just feel absolute let down....I'm mam...the wife..the sister...the daughter....the work mate....everyone looks to me for the steadiness and I don't have it in me at the moment so feel like I'm letting everyone down.
We all have our own problems..why should I bring people down with mine
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I destroyed my life as I put EVERYONE before me. I could never say no to people. Now I have learned to look after me first and foremost. Do things that matter to ME. I had hypnotherapy for my anxiety. Worked wonders for me. I couldn't pick up the phone due to being scared of what the other person would think of me.

You are letting NO ONE down. be kind to yourself.

I went to yoga yesterday and I am going again today, the old Mark (now 50+) could never walk into a room of 23 other people, you can and will get through this. I still have small panic attacks but nothing like before.

edit, the doctors were useless for me, hence I paid for my own hypnotherapy and counselling.
 
Legz said:
I just feel absolute let down....I'm mam...the wife..the sister...the daughter....the work mate....everyone looks to me for the steadiness and I don't have it in me at the moment so feel like I'm letting everyone down.
We all have our own problems..why should I bring people down with mine
Click to expand...
You will never bring people down by sharing your problems Legz. Please talk to friends and members of your family and also please keep on posting on this board! You are a much valued poster on here please take care.
 
Legz said:
Anxiety has always been a part of my life since childhood trauma
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Sorry for another reply. Have you tried contacting Mind? They do EMDR as a paid service via their counselling service and is supposed to work wonders for trauma. I know people who have had it.
 
You are far from an idiot, you are an incredibly strong person to share what you have.

I can completely relate to the pressures you have in all those different roles, please reach out and speak to a family member. It will help you massively.
 
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