ADHD in adults

OneJonOnTeesside said:
A lot of this relates to me too, I'm also super organisised and the the weed resonates with me also. I've spent ages making our garden 'perfect' and can't enjoy it because there is always something I need to sort. Same inside the house, complete perfectionist to the point where I just can't relax until everything is done. I work off a to-do list which initially helped me (offloading things to remember to do) but now I am obsessed with keeping it empty. It has its advantages, I am organised and things that need doing get done, but it can interfere with happiness or cause disruption to life. Can't really tell the lads I'm late because the hallway needed hoovering! Never really thought to get help, oddly part of me doesn't want to change. Never thought to label it as ADHD (need to understand more about what that is) but I am probably on the spectrum slightly. The older I get though the more I realise noone is 'normal'. Nearly everyone has anxieties but affects people in different ways.
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Being a perfectionist is a major ball ache. I didn't realise I was as I think I'm rubbish at everything, but now I realise that's not what perfectionism is, and I wish I wasn't one. It's a major part of adhd and a major frustration (for me anyway).
 
atypical_boro said:
I can well imagine therapy helps. Therapy can help everyone (with or without ADHD or any other such diagnosis) but do you pay for it yourself? Cos its ruddy expensive if so.
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Yes pay for it myself, its expensive but worth it. I have had therapy on and off for about 15 years now.
I swear by it, its always good to talk to someone without judgement.
 
parmoboy said:
I'm beginning to wonder whether I could have it. I get bored very easily and struggle to concentrate - it's one of the reasons why I struggle to watch films or TV series, I just get bored midway through the first episode and end up switching it off.

I've been feeling quite stressed recently because of my teeth. I didn't look after them as well as I should have done in my younger years and they're all worn down. My dentist told me I may need a full mouth reconstruction, which I can't afford and I don't really want to lose my natural teeth, even though they're not in a great condition.

I brush them twice a day now but I can't stand at the sink and brush them. I have to walk out of the bathroom and walk about in my kitchen, whilst trying not to spill toothpaste on the floor.

I'm reflecting back now and wondering if this was a big factor as to why I was reluctant to brush them on a regular basis back in the day.
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It may well be. For something so mundane and routine why does it seem such a major task (it does for me when I'm not at work anyway). So it might be an indicator, makes sense to me.
 
NoloBoro said:
Also found out late. school was torture, didn’t do well at all, despite being extremely bright as a kid. Categorised as naughty, lectured constantly about how I lacked self discipline and had to apply myself.
Sky plus has been a godsend while watching TV, allows me to pause and go about other things.
No patience whatsoever, get really annoyed in queues, traffic, any form of waiting for anything.
Amazon prime, I hammer it, sometimes paying over the odds for things because I can’t wait.
Lack of dopamine in system means I’m constantly seeking pleasure, at one point I’d get it wherever I could, drugs, sex, skipping boring stuff to always do what I felt like.
Can never sit still, can’t sit with the missus for long, despite loving her company.
My long suffering wife has been my saviour, so kind and patient, she’s the only person who really gets me.
Have a dual diagnosis, also suffer with Bipolar, had weeks on end in true despair, followed by ridiculous highs, real excitement for no reason whatsoever, in one of these episodes, I found god, lost him since but actually believed I was a new messiah and gods messenger, didn’t tell anyone, well almost nobody.
Understanding what’s happening has been helpful, also torturous, you feel such frustration, real regret and sadness at what things could have been, what you could have achieved.
Now take medication, Lamotrigine and Methylphenidate, what people understand to be Ritalin, that’s just a brand name.
Was initially prescribed anti depressants when I asked for help, they turned me inside out, one of the brands, I swear I could’ve killed somebody, there was a road rage incident when I told a bloke if I had to get out of my car I was going to kill him, I meant it.
You need to be kind to yourself, there are books that help you understand what ADHD is, one is called The silent struggle, it’s a good read, the sort of thing you can pick up and put down, a good thing if you catch my drift.
Sorry for rambling, it’s a thing I tend to do.
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Probably makes sense out of most of my posts on here. Long rambles or one off impulsive posts that I never return to. I've probably reached my maximum posts on this thread and will soon go off the thread never to return (thank god everyone will say).
 
NoloBoro said:
Could lose my keys 4 times before leaving the house. Lose my train of thought when talking to someone and walk away.
When I get interested in something it becomes an obsession, can’t tear Myself away from it, no matter what’s happening.
Short term memory is shocking, will look down and realise the thing I had in my hand, paintbrush, pen, book, keys is no longer there
I’m 47 now, I reckon I’ve spent 25 of those years looking for things I’ve lost.
Anyone on her with ADHD have trouble with sleep issues, I get sleep paralysis a lot, sometimes I convince myself my house is haunted, sounds crazy, maybe it is??
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@NoloBoro yup, sleep has always been a problem. I fell asleep no problem, then woke in the early hours, and it was 'game on' for my brain. Countless scenarios, home situations, work stuff, sports, whatever and most or all of it keeping me awake. Spending my life constantly tired, but that being the norm. I can't say I'm a great sleeper now, but can mostly get back to sleep when I wake up, which is a bonus.
 
Reading through this resonates with me quite a bit. Thank you everyone for their candid honesty. Never thought of myself having adhd and still not sure if I just feel like it’s resonating with me

I put work off all the time and then do it late a night. Always just put it down to working better under pressure

Housework, hate it but when I do it I have to do it properly.

When younger I used to lose a lot of things like wallets etc

Can zone out when people talk. Eyes wander when eating out rather than focussing on person

Recolection of films quotes and song lyrics I can’t do and that’s the one that really got me pondering. Same poster about looking for things, I’m atrocious at that too
 
Boroshirtmuseum said:
I dont want to go down medication route.
Therapy does help.

My routine now is when i get to work, or even when i start a day on a weekend, spend 10 minutes brainstorming and writing a list of what you want to achieve in that day. Even simple things like go to the shop or fill car up with petrol.

When working at my desk I set a timer on 30 minutes which i am not allowed to google anything or look at my phone.
Every 30 mins I can then look at anything for 5 mins as a treat. This helps me stay focused.

Have post it or even a permanent sign on your dashboard in your car saying KEYS and PHONE.
Trains your brain to check you have them before you drive off.

Post it or sign in your room/kitchen etc saying keep tidy.

To someone who does not relate to this it sounds bizarre, but it really helps
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How do you stay disciplined with the timers. I have put my phone in other rooms but still break my own rules
 
ForssAwakens said:
Reading through this resonates with me quite a bit. Thank you everyone for their candid honesty. Never thought of myself having adhd and still not sure if I just feel like it’s resonating with me

I put work off all the time and then do it late a night. Always just put it down to working better under pressure

Housework, hate it but when I do it I have to do it properly.

When younger I used to lose a lot of things like wallets etc

Can zone out when people talk. Eyes wander when eating out rather than focussing on person

Recolection of films quotes and song lyrics I can’t do and that’s the one that really got me pondering. Same poster about looking for things, I’m atrocious at that too
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Might be worth doing some more reading and research on it if you want to delve deeper. The good thing is there is much more awareness of it and information out there now.
 
Littlejimmy said:
Might be worth doing some more reading and research on it if you want to delve deeper. The good thing is there is much more awareness of it and information out there now.
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The thing that gets me the most is I know that if I don’t do my work then I’ll have less time with my family if I have to log on later and do it but I still don’t do the work and I struggle to wrap my head around why I do it

And thank you, I will read more into it
 
ForssAwakens said:
The thing that gets me the most is I know that if I don’t do my work then I’ll have less time with my family if I have to log on later and do it but I still don’t do the work and I struggle to wrap my head around why I do it

And thank you, I will read more into it
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💯 with you on that. I procrastinate all
Week with work, then on a Sunday i use the afternoons to Catch up. Missing out on family time.
Next week make a promise to not
Let it happen again…. Then the cycle continues
 
I would say if procrastination and leaving things til the last minute alone constituted ADHD then about 80% of the global population would have it.
 
oliver reed said:
@NoloBoro yup, sleep has always been a problem. I fell asleep no problem, then woke in the early hours, and it was 'game on' for my brain. Countless scenarios, home situations, work stuff, sports, whatever and most or all of it keeping me awake. Spending my life constantly tired, but that being the norm. I can't say I'm a great sleeper now, but can mostly get back to sleep when I wake up, which is a bonus.
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I hear you with the tiredness, crippling
 
so much of this thread resonates with me, at 52 I had an autism diagnosis in January and ADHD in March and like others have said it makes your past life make sense.
Ive spent at least 20 years seeing myself as a failing adult but given time Im hoping to see myself as a successful autistic/ADHD person once Ive grieved for the old me and what might have been if it had all been picked up when I was a kid, I left school in the last year of O levels before GCSE came in and I didnt get put in for any O levels I left with 3s 4s and below CSEs following that I managed to cope with a year at college before dropping out.

Now a positive I've enrolled at college (started yesterday) to do my Maths and English GCSEs and hopefully will get the help I need to help me pass them.
 
HaveYouTriedAReboot said:
so much of this thread resonates with me, at 52 I had an autism diagnosis in January and ADHD in March and like others have said it makes your past life make sense.
Ive spent at least 20 years seeing myself as a failing adult but given time Im hoping to see myself as a successful autistic/ADHD person once Ive grieved for the old me and what might have been if it had all been picked up when I was a kid, I left school in the last year of O levels before GCSE came in and I didnt get put in for any O levels I left with 3s 4s and below CSEs following that I managed to cope with a year at college before dropping out.

Now a positive I've enrolled at college (started yesterday) to do my Maths and English GCSEs and hopefully will get the help I need to help me pass them.
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Good man! Good luck, let us know how you get on, we’ll if you want to?!?
 
The thing is with ADHD, there are some positives. It isn’t all negative.
For instance, it practically impossible to creep up behind me.
For all I lack focus, or at least more so without medication, I miss nothing as far as movement around me.
It’s weird I can’t explain it, if I open a cupboard and something falls out, even if I’m looking the other way, I can always catch it.
I’m a very good driver. Better since advanced training as a rozzer. Can hear the boos 😁
Never been tagged at work.
I wonder if any of you can relate to these things??
Also, if I’m interested in something, it becomes everything, my two things are books and music.
If I hear a song I like, I get the lyrics, straight off, usually in one listen, this was useful when I flirted with the idea of being in a rock band, it didn’t work out as I was painfully shy… well that and the fact that I’d joined the band last and within a fortnight, I’d rattled the lead guitarist’s girlfriend during one of my insane pleasure seeking dopamine hunts, this despite the fact that I really loved the guy. I was sorry as hell afterwards but damage done.
Now for the bad…
I’ve always had a self destruct button the size of a bus steering wheel.
Get really ***ed off at the slightest criticism, taking it as a personal slight.
I can feel wounded by people not doing what I think they should, also take the personally.
Feel things very deeply, quick to anger, quick to calm, them wonder why people are still ***ed off at me when I’m then okay.

Have great ideas, they sweep me up and whoosh, my interest has vanished, usually after enthusing others who them get really annoyed.

This thread has been great, it’s cathartic, I’ve had counselling, it didn’t work, always felt like you were describing the water you were drowning in!

Genuinely interested to hear of others having similar feelings, experiences especially the physical side of things.
Or, as I suspect as I had for years that I’m just plain odd, odd and that now someone has labelled it!

We are all individuals so will have different experiences and ways of interpreting things.

I’m just so glad i understand now why I can’t do things others do, why their sensible adult conversations sometimes seem a mystery and I often wonder wtf they are talking about.
 
Boroshirtmuseum said:
I dont want to go down medication route.
Therapy does help.

My routine now is when i get to work, or even when i start a day on a weekend, spend 10 minutes brainstorming and writing a list of what you want to achieve in that day. Even simple things like go to the shop or fill car up with petrol.

When working at my desk I set a timer on 30 minutes which i am not allowed to google anything or look at my phone.
Every 30 mins I can then look at anything for 5 mins as a treat. This helps me stay focused.

Have post it or even a permanent sign on your dashboard in your car saying KEYS and PHONE.
Trains your brain to check you have them before you drive off.

Post it or sign in your room/kitchen etc saying keep tidy.

To someone who does not relate to this it sounds bizarre, but it really helps
Click to expand...
This is very similar to what I do. I have a pad of paper. I write down how I'm going to do my day. Basic timings of things. I do work in two hour bursts.
 
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