Dad Jokes - all welcome!


Well-known member
Eight things to ponder as 2020 draws to a close.

1. The dumbest thing I bought this year was a 2020 planner

2. 2019 Stay away from negative people. 2020 Stay away from positive people

3. The world has turned upside down. Old people are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.

4. This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
I came to my house and told the dog.....we had a good laugh

5. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

6. I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot barge pole” would become a national policy but here we are!

7. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the garden.
I am tired of the living room

8. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank clerk with a mask on and ask for money.


Well-known member
My last girlfriend worked at a zoo she came home one day with a suspicious stain on her top. When I asked her about it she went apeshit.

So we split up. My new girlfriend is an epileptic, talk about fit.


Well-known member
If they want to speed up the vaccination roll out they should just get Amazon drivers to do it as part of their deliveries. They'd have the whole population vaccinated by monday. Or saturday if they have prime.