Hard work being me

ITs ok to feel like this - It shows you care.

Firstly, stop feeling guilty for feeling like you are, you are not letting anyone down. It looks like it has all become a little too much, longer term, this will be a good thing. Even speaking out on here is a good first step. Please, do not try to solve this on your own, speak to those closest to you and let them know how you are feeling and what if anything they can do to help - trust me they will want to.

Be patient, you will have good days and bad days. I know nothing about you or your life but when i found myself feeling in a similar way, i found some small changes made a positive difference:
1/ Get fresh air, i found a walk first thing in the morning got me into a better frame of mind for the day ahead. Your life may not allow this so just get a walk in at anytime you can.
2/ Set some targets for the day - both work and personal.
3/ Talk, vent, scream, shout - whatever it is you feel is needed, do it.
4/ Let people in, not everyone, just someone - it will help massively, a problem shared and all that
5/ Note down the bad days and what the trigger was or could be. Keep a log like this and you may start to see some patterns forming that you can then work on.
6/ Let work know, the last thing you need is to add more stress by keeping it from those unsuspecting.

Remember, your doing great!!!!
 
Never think that you are letting people down, never. No one is strong all the time. This is for you Legz
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on...
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won't let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on...
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
You just call on me brother
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
Call me
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me (call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
If you ever need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)
If you need a friend
(Call me)
Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me) Call me
(Call me)

Hope it helps.
 
Legz said:
Anxiety has always been a part of my life since childhood trauma. At the age of 49 I realised i needed more help cos my coping mechanisms don't work anymore and I went and I asked...but I'm proper struggling now..
Back at the doctors Friday but Jesus....throwing my first panic attack in a shop yesterday and left work today...I've never been this ill....or scared!!
Am I just letting people around me down, I feel guilty...my family...my work...
Maybe I'm just venting on here because I can I just..for the first time.
I'm supposed to be the strong one and I can't
Ignore me...I just needed to write it down and know I'm not an idiot
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You're not in any way an idiot, you're not letting anyone down. You have no reason to feel guilty.
But that doesn't mean it's not completely normal and natural to feel all those things sometimes. Especially if you have lots of people in your life that look to you for help.
Make sure you do something on a regular basis that's just for you, nobody else. Keeping yourself happy and healthy isn't ever selfish, because it enables you to help other people around you more effectively.
 
Thank you for all the kind words and advice, much needed and appreciated. Its such a hard slog this mental health illness and I'm worried as the lows seem to be getting lower. I've been on meds for 3 months now...seemed to be working really well to start with but not the last few weeks so med review tomorrow. I've been down the counselling route....horrible experience and don't want to go through that again. A few friends and work mates know but I hate talking about things as I get emotional and I'm not the best with handling emotions.
But today is another day....its supposed to be a beautiful day....so I'm going to try and do something productive (I've rang in sick for the week at work....felt like the worst person on the planet letting my gang down, but like so many of you have said maybe it's time for me for once).
Thanks again for listening fellow fmttm'ers...its meant a lot x
 
Legz said:
I just feel absolute let down....I'm mam...the wife..the sister...the daughter....the work mate....everyone looks to me for the steadiness and I don't have it in me at the moment so feel like I'm letting everyone down.
We all have our own problems..why should I bring people down with mine
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You are not letting anyone down. You need to take time to be kind to yourself and take the time you need / get the help you need to get better.
 
Take the time to look after yourself. Let those around you know that you need some support now. Hopefully you'll be surprised at how many people will rush to return the favour you've been providing all these years.
You've always struck me as a very level headed lass. So I'm sure, deep down, you know you're the priority right now. If you were giving advice to yourself I'm sure you'd be able to help yourself.
 
It's a bit like on a plane, Legz. When the oxygen masks drop you put your own on first so that you are then in a position to help others. Nothing wrong in paying a bit more attention to your own needs, everyone will benefit from that.
 
Morning Legz, hope you managed a good night's sleep. I always think that's the base point to start from. As ever it seems like FMTTM is awash with positive thoughts and suggestions. Put yourself at the centre of your universe for your week off and make a note of how others revolve around you rather than you pursuing them. It's a mind exercise that has helped me a few times over the years. At the very least it's good to hear you have nice weather to enjoy. Maybe that's the start of the world revolving around your needs. ;)

Oh, and any thread that provokes a Bill Withers connection is worth celebrating.
 
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Legz, I am also a sufferer of mental health issues and have been through more than my share of down, dark difficult times.

You have made a very strong positive realisation that you are not feeling well. Many people ignore the signs and try to carry on, which may lead to further problems. You have recognised that your mind is spiraling down, so the first action is to stop the decent. Next, stabilise the situation before you start to rebuild.

If and when you can, reach out to those around you and tell them that you need to support and understanding. I have tried to treat those around me like a team, they can help lift the pressure and check in on you if you need it. By opening up, it isnt a sign of weakness, but can be used as a coping mechanism when others need help.

It is unfair on you to feel that you have to be strong for so many different groups and people. You need others to have the opportunity to step up and assist and ultimately help you.

Stay strong, look after yourself and hope you feel better soon.
 
Legz said:
Thank you for all the kind words and advice, much needed and appreciated. Its such a hard slog this mental health illness and I'm worried as the lows seem to be getting lower. I've been on meds for 3 months now...seemed to be working really well to start with but not the last few weeks so med review tomorrow. I've been down the counselling route....horrible experience and don't want to go through that again. A few friends and work mates know but I hate talking about things as I get emotional and I'm not the best with handling emotions.
But today is another day....its supposed to be a beautiful day....so I'm going to try and do something productive (I've rang in sick for the week at work....felt like the worst person on the planet letting my gang down, but like so many of you have said maybe it's time for me for once).
Thanks again for listening fellow fmttm'ers...its meant a lot x
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By not doing that you would be letting yourself down. You need to come first, you need to work on you.

Best of luck and please feel free to vent on here as much as you need.
 
Quick update

Had a doctors appointment today with a very patient and extremely understanding doctor. My med dosage has been changed, I've got a 2 week sicknote and I have to go back in 4 weeks for a review but if anythings not quite right in the mean time get in touch.
Feel like a weight has been lifted a bit with the sick note....just gives me time to "breathe".
Onwards and upwards!
 
Don’t think that you are any different from a lot of others. There are a lot of people struggling but are good at hiding it but you have already shown strength by talking about it, albeit on this message board. Have you tried CBT as this helped me tremendously a few years back and I have learnt a lot of management strategies.
 
Have you tried yoga Legz ? Helped me tremendously, with the added bonus of improving your physical well being as well the mental side of things. I mostly do kundalini yoga but any form is good really. There’s plenty of stuff to follow online if you don’t fancy doing it with others - hope you’re feeling better soon anyway
 
Aet290204 said:
If it’s any consolation Legz it’s bloody hard work being me as well.

Look after yerself.
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It's nice to hear from you AET....I know you struggle tremendously at times....I hope you're doing well..or as well as you possibly can be x
 
Funky_Chicken said:
Have you tried yoga Legz ? Helped me tremendously, with the added bonus of improving your physical well being as well the mental side of things. I mostly do kundalini yoga but any form is good really. There’s plenty of stuff to follow online if you don’t fancy doing it with others - hope you’re feeling better soon anyway
Click to expand...
I am actually looking into this....probably a utube thing for me at the mo....outside and people aren't my favourite thing at the mo x
 
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