r00fie1
Well-known member
You`ve reminded me of lots of things between my old man and the family as a kid.Gambling can be insidious and destructive and it's great you are getting help Tuncay.
My old man was a gambler and it caused untold issues with me childhood with me Mam often not having any money cos the old man had blown his wages gambling and not turned up home for a week and she had five kids to feed.
I remember a few times me Mam having to go an find him. One time he hadn't been home for a couple of weeks and we were on the bones of our backsides and having to go to rellies for food (none of them had much more than we did to be fair).
So me Mam grabs me brother and I (aged about 5 and 7) and takes us on the bus to Redcar Races after convincing the bus driver to let us get on for free cos her useless husband hadn't been home for two weeks and she had starving bairns and she know he'd be at the races.
We got to the race track and again, she had to blag us in for free, but I remember the guy on the gate just nodding his head with a sort of 'here we go again' kinda look and letting us in.
We were searching all around for him and me Mam saw him on the other side of the home straight and she ducked under the rail, with me and me bro in tow and started running towards the old man swearing her head off and calling him all sorts of names that made me and me bro giggle a lot - at least until the old lady tightened her grip on our wrists even harder.
Problem was the race was on and the bloody horses were on the home straight too and the old man couldn't get away too easily cos the crowd were pressing in behind him. But the look on his face was one of complete horror as he looked at us and tried to fight his way through the crowd before this banshee got him.
Anyway he managed to slip into the crowds and flee. Me Mam couldn't find him, but saw one of his brothers (who of course denied even seeing him there) and he gave her a few bob so we could get the bus home and some food that night.
It was the day I realised my dad was not the hero figure I'd portrayed him to be and was just a sad, cowardly, pathetic manchild who cared more about himself than his kids. He would rather run away than face up to his responsibilities as a parent.
I never saw him after that as he never came home again.
However, while I didn't realise it at the time, his absence, and the sense of abandonment it inflicted on me affected me for the next 30 years or so, until I got good counselling to deal with it.
Sadly though it had cost me my own marriage by then and it was the end of that relationship which pushed me into getting the help I needed.
I'm so glad I did though...
My old man fkd off when I was 10, leaving Mam and three other kids.
Might bother posting it another time.
Cheers