Gamblers anonymous meeting

bungydinsdale said:
Gambling can be insidious and destructive and it's great you are getting help Tuncay.
My old man was a gambler and it caused untold issues with me childhood with me Mam often not having any money cos the old man had blown his wages gambling and not turned up home for a week and she had five kids to feed.
I remember a few times me Mam having to go an find him. One time he hadn't been home for a couple of weeks and we were on the bones of our backsides and having to go to rellies for food (none of them had much more than we did to be fair).
So me Mam grabs me brother and I (aged about 5 and 7) and takes us on the bus to Redcar Races after convincing the bus driver to let us get on for free cos her useless husband hadn't been home for two weeks and she had starving bairns and she know he'd be at the races.
We got to the race track and again, she had to blag us in for free, but I remember the guy on the gate just nodding his head with a sort of 'here we go again' kinda look and letting us in.
We were searching all around for him and me Mam saw him on the other side of the home straight and she ducked under the rail, with me and me bro in tow and started running towards the old man swearing her head off and calling him all sorts of names that made me and me bro giggle a lot - at least until the old lady tightened her grip on our wrists even harder.
Problem was the race was on and the bloody horses were on the home straight too and the old man couldn't get away too easily cos the crowd were pressing in behind him. But the look on his face was one of complete horror as he looked at us and tried to fight his way through the crowd before this banshee got him.
Anyway he managed to slip into the crowds and flee. Me Mam couldn't find him, but saw one of his brothers (who of course denied even seeing him there) and he gave her a few bob so we could get the bus home and some food that night.
It was the day I realised my dad was not the hero figure I'd portrayed him to be and was just a sad, cowardly, pathetic manchild who cared more about himself than his kids. He would rather run away than face up to his responsibilities as a parent.
I never saw him after that as he never came home again.
However, while I didn't realise it at the time, his absence, and the sense of abandonment it inflicted on me affected me for the next 30 years or so, until I got good counselling to deal with it.
Sadly though it had cost me my own marriage by then and it was the end of that relationship which pushed me into getting the help I needed.
I'm so glad I did though...
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You`ve reminded me of lots of things between my old man and the family as a kid.
My old man fkd off when I was 10, leaving Mam and three other kids.
Might bother posting it another time.
Cheers (y)
 
weemoby said:
I 100% agree.

It blows my mind how 'normalised' gambling advertising is. It's incredibly pernicious and I think in the future people will look back and wonder how on Earth we allowed these companies to sponsor footie teams, have kiddy-friendly foxes advertising online gambling etc.

B*ll*cks to the lot of em, the house always wins.

A heart-felt best of luck to all of you seeking help, keep at it, you can do it 👍
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Outrageous that gambling is so prevalent at sporting events and is actually encouraged. In what are supposed to be fun, family friendly events
 
Have to agree on the advertising posts.

So disingenuous those statements on skybet et all. They don't want you to have fun. They want you money.

Gambling cuases so much turmoil in people lives. Debts etc.

You have to wonder if any politicians are getting their palms greased to not act on it.
 
B_G said:
Outrageous that gambling is so prevalent at sporting events and is actually encouraged. In what are supposed to be fun, family friendly events
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It's not just that, it's behind this veneer of "fun" and "respectability" "bit of a laugh" "a cheeky flutter" is a seriously dark, horrible industry inflicting enormous suffering on a lot of people.

The worst thing - they don't give two sh*ts about the misery they cause. They pretend to, but behind this it's all £££££££££££.
 
In darlo I think, is a portakabin type bookies l
Right next door to a working class ish pub. Looks like it's grown there as some type of parasite
 
Littlefella68 said:
In darlo I think, is a portakabin type bookies l
Right next door to a working class ish pub. Looks like it's grown there as some type of parasite
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Got some bad memories in that place. Used to tell my wife I was going to the GA meeting and head to that bookies. Ironically it's not far from where the meeting is held. My wife would think I was going for my therapy, meanwhile I was blowing our savings. I would return 3 hours later with a smile on my face like nothing had happened.

This is the level of deceitfulness this addiction can bring when it gets hold of you.
 
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I've told this story before on here some years ago. When I was growing up, my cousin who was 10 years older than me was brought up alongside me and was more like my brother than my cousin. He used to stay over, come on holiday with us etc and was something of a lost soul. He was an only child whose Dad had left after 6 months and his mum couldn't cope on her own so my mum had stepped in. He was a really clever lad, outgoing, quick-witted, really likeable and something of a genius at mental maths. This combined made him really popular, and he was good with words too. All this proved to be his undoing.

He began betting on the dogs at Cleveland Park at 18, and absolutely loved it. He soon progressed to horse racing and quickly became obsessed. Over a period, he started pinching petty cash from his employer to try and catch up with inevitable debts acquired at the bookies. He got caught, was sacked and full of regret but couldn't stop. His next job he did the same but was this time prosecuted and did jail time. This set the pattern for the rest of his life - always petty thieving to fund his habit, always caught, always tearfully repentant, swearing he'd get help and change.......and never did. It utterly ruined his life and he never got clean.

He was a lovely lad, soft as clarts but hopelessly addicted. He did several jail terms, and ended up living on a caravan site, estranged from his family, which years later was where I tracked him down to and made contact. We met briefly, hugged tearfully over a cup of tea and I invited him to a family gathering, which he joyfully accepted. A week before the gathering, he dropped dead from a brain haemorrhage at the age of 53. His then partner said later that he was a serial worrier and hider from things - no doubt linked to his shame about how his life had turned out. The constant worry, the sleepless nights and forever hiding evidence of his addiction was undoubtedly what killed him IMO.

As others have said, the whole gambling industry is insidious and runs on a big lie. There needs to be much better education, much tighter controls and the advertising which props it up needs scrapping altogether. It preys on people's weaknesses, pretending to be their friend when in reality it's the worst enemy they could have.
 
RK8610 said:
Great story. Where did you seek help? Was it somewhere local?
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I live in NZ now and it was over here. Started in relationship counselling, but once I realised the relationship was over, and my part in it, I got a good counsellor who helped me understand why my early days impacted on the behaviour I was displaying.
However, despite that I consider myself a good dad to my own kids and in Hindsight I think not having a dad as a role model helped me with my relationship with my kids - I knew how not to be a dad from my own example, so had to find out how to be good dad and I think it's worked.
 
r00fie1 said:
You`ve reminded me of lots of things between my old man and the family as a kid.
My old man fkd off when I was 10, leaving Mam and three other kids.
Might bother posting it another time.
Cheers (y)
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Sorry to hear that Roofie, but it seems there's a generation of 'men' who didn't want to be dads. This thread seems to be a bit cathartic for helping people unload.
 
BigUnit said:
You must be the new member called D ?
We had 4 new members last night and what a fantastic meeting.
2 new female members too which is rare.
This illness does not discriminate.
I'm so pleased you attended mate and more importantly I hope you come back next week.
Also we have a website called gamblersinrecovery.com which has hundreds of online Zoom meetings daily .
Thanks for posting Tuncay and I hope this could also help others too
In Unity
Paul aka Big Unit lol
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Hi yeah that’s me. So glad I took that first step and spoke infront of others about what’s been going on. First small step taken. Now to build on that day by day
 
Hi all, thank you so much for all the support. It’s amazing to see that by someone just simply asking if they are able to attend a meeting it turns into a conversation like this. My story is to log to post about but I have lost enough in my life that yesterday I convinced myself enough was enough and to seek help. I went along, listened and found that I am not alone. I will continue to attend and can only advise that others do the same.
I have recently not attended many games as I would prefer the alternative of putting a few accumulaters on and sitting and watching as I loose a months wage.
I would love to start going to game s’more often and regain my love of that match day feeling.
Maybe an idea for a few like minded People to enjoy a match day together whilst being able to support each other through the process of not betting on the games?

Thanks everyone

UTB
 
Tuncay17 said:
Hi all, thank you so much for all the support. It’s amazing to see that by someone just simply asking if they are able to attend a meeting it turns into a conversation like this. My story is to log to post about but I have lost enough in my life that yesterday I convinced myself enough was enough and to seek help. I went along, listened and found that I am not alone. I will continue to attend and can only advise that others do the same.
I have recently not attended many games as I would prefer the alternative of putting a few accumulaters on and sitting and watching as I loose a months wage.
I would love to start going to game s’more often and regain my love of that match day feeling.
Maybe an idea for a few like minded People to enjoy a match day together whilst being able to support each other through the process of not betting on the games?

Thanks everyone

UTB
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I know I'm just an Internet stranger, but that's great. What an amazing first step. I'm sure loads of us on the board hope that you'll be back at the Riverside soon enough without those demons.

UTB 👍
 
i myself developed a gambling problem a few years ago. It started with me seeing these start with £5 and get to £1000 in 10 bets groups on Twitter and other social media. Having a lot of debt back then, i convinced myself that these so called experts knew more about betting than me and the small odds must mean its nailed on - I didn't really believe that but i was convincing the small amount of common sense i had left.

Anyways, i never won big but i was getting to the point of despositing maybe £5 - £10 every day, not a lot to some im sure but over the month it could be anywhere from £200 - £300 which in itself was bigger than any win.

Unfortunately, these better groups got more and more popular and i would fall for those that had just had a big win and would follow them. I would even continue to get rubbish odds thinking i could make the money back myself and a bit extra. Again it never really happened and was still losing the best part of £200 - £300 per month.

The best thing that happened to me was my partner seeing a bank statement and seeing daily deposits to Bet365 and Skybet. She hit the rough, i had never used money to bet instead of bills etc but we where and are not exactly loaded so £200 is a lot.

That day i deleted my betting apps and have not placed a bet since and that was around 3.5 years ago now. Best thing i did - i dont think i was addict as such, i dont see the adverts and get tempted or get the urge walking past a betting shop and im comfortable around mates having a bet in the pub but i did become obsessed and what scared me the most was how convincing of myself i was, was a devil vs angel scenario.

The biggest regret for me is it took time from me. Time i could have been playing with my kids or making my partner feel special and just generally being present. I would be sat refreshing the score and if it came in id ben in a good mood, if it didn't i would be instatly in a bad mood. That is what kept me going and i now spend very little time on my phone which in itself is another massive improvement.

I never went to GA meeting. Well done for seeing it through and for Day 1 of no betting - take it slow, dont be afraid of relapse and ask for support on here.
 
Tuncay17 said:
Hi all, thank you so much for all the support. It’s amazing to see that by someone just simply asking if they are able to attend a meeting it turns into a conversation like this. My story is to log to post about but I have lost enough in my life that yesterday I convinced myself enough was enough and to seek help. I went along, listened and found that I am not alone. I will continue to attend and can only advise that others do the same.
I have recently not attended many games as I would prefer the alternative of putting a few accumulaters on and sitting and watching as I loose a months wage.
I would love to start going to game s’more often and regain my love of that match day feeling.
Maybe an idea for a few like minded People to enjoy a match day together whilst being able to support each other through the process of not betting on the games?

Thanks everyone

UTB
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You inspired us all on Monday mate ...
Only negative thing is we have a few mackems in the GA group .
Haha... See you Monday mate
 
Tuncay17 said:
Hi all, thank you so much for all the support. It’s amazing to see that by someone just simply asking if they are able to attend a meeting it turns into a conversation like this. My story is to log to post about but I have lost enough in my life that yesterday I convinced myself enough was enough and to seek help. I went along, listened and found that I am not alone. I will continue to attend and can only advise that others do the same.
I have recently not attended many games as I would prefer the alternative of putting a few accumulaters on and sitting and watching as I loose a months wage.
I would love to start going to game s’more often and regain my love of that match day feeling.
Maybe an idea for a few like minded People to enjoy a match day together whilst being able to support each other through the process of not betting on the games?

Thanks everyone

UTB
Click to expand...
If I was able to make it, I would do my best to get there.
 
HarryVegas said:
I've told this story before on here some years ago. When I was growing up, my cousin who was 10 years older than me was brought up alongside me and was more like my brother than my cousin. He used to stay over, come on holiday with us etc and was something of a lost soul. He was an only child whose Dad had left after 6 months and his mum couldn't cope on her own so my mum had stepped in. He was a really clever lad, outgoing, quick-witted, really likeable and something of a genius at mental maths. This combined made him really popular, and he was good with words too. All this proved to be his undoing.

He began betting on the dogs at Cleveland Park at 18, and absolutely loved it. He soon progressed to horse racing and quickly became obsessed. Over a period, he started pinching petty cash from his employer to try and catch up with inevitable debts acquired at the bookies. He got caught, was sacked and full of regret but couldn't stop. His next job he did the same but was this time prosecuted and did jail time. This set the pattern for the rest of his life - always petty thieving to fund his habit, always caught, always tearfully repentant, swearing he'd get help and change.......and never did. It utterly ruined his life and he never got clean.

He was a lovely lad, soft as clarts but hopelessly addicted. He did several jail terms, and ended up living on a caravan site, estranged from his family, which years later was where I tracked him down to and made contact. We met briefly, hugged tearfully over a cup of tea and I invited him to a family gathering, which he joyfully accepted. A week before the gathering, he dropped dead from a brain haemorrhage at the age of 53. His then partner said later that he was a serial worrier and hider from things - no doubt linked to his shame about how his life had turned out. The constant worry, the sleepless nights and forever hiding evidence of his addiction was undoubtedly what killed him IMO.

As others have said, the whole gambling industry is insidious and runs on a big lie. There needs to be much better education, much tighter controls and the advertising which props it up needs scrapping altogether. It preys on people's weaknesses, pretending to be their friend when in reality it's the worst enemy they could have.
Click to expand...
That for me confirms betting firms have no place on football shirts or in stadiums. I refuse to support all firms who knowingly entice people into gambling and addiction. Its thrown at us from signs on the pitch, t shirts and fk knows where. I wish Boro had the bollax to say No to advertising gambling at our club. The cost of the fall-out is never mentioned by these leaches.
 
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