Dad Jokes - all welcome!

Redben

Member
A man walks into a pub with a pie on his head.

The barman says ' why are you wearing a pie on your head?'

'I always wearing pie on my head on Wednesdays'

'But today's Tuesday'

'Oh! I must look like a right **** then'
 

Redben

Member
A man walks into a pub with a pie on his head.

The barman says ' why are you wearing a pie on your head?'

'I always wearing pie on my head on Wednesdays' said the man.

'But today's Tuesday'

'Oh! I must look like a right **** then'
 

FatCat

Well-known member
Did you know that type 0 blood was originally meant to be called type zero due to the lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread and today is called type “0” I guess you could call it a typo!!
 

Muttley

Well-known member
Me, "As I walked home I got bitten by a huge dog"

Her indoors, "Oh my God, imagine if it had been a small child!!!"

Me, "I'm pretty confident I could have fought off a small child."
 

festa5

Well-known member
A man working at a brewery fell into a vat of beer and died

The manager and CEO go to the mans house in the evening and knock on the door.

The mans wife opens the door and seeing the sombre look on the two men's faces cautiously asks "Whats wrong!?"

"We have some bad news your husband died in a terrible accident at work today" replied the manager "He fell 50 metres into a vat of beer early this morning and drowned"

"Oh my God" said the man's wife "50 metres! he never stood a chance did he?"

"Well that's not strictly true" replied the manager "he climbed out three times to go to the toilet".
 
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