I'm not going to pretend I have the answers and a magic secret that makes it all better, I don't. I've gone into minor details about my own struggles, and it is *****, and difficult, and some days really are just concentrating on minute to minute, step by step.
But you do the right thing, you come on here to talk, to ask for help and you get it, people willing to listen, people with advice. It might not seem much now, but 1 day you will realise how that openess and bravery helped you fight your battles.
And the fact that you set out to do something deliberate but didn't proves that deep down, even if you don't consciously realise it, there is something there, inside you, wanting to win that battle. Keep going Aet, we're all with you, every bumpy step of the way x